Lasting Impressions
by Bailieboro
Summary: Merlin stands beside Arthur supporting him through fantasy to reality. Sequel to First Impressions.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE : KNOCK HIM DOWN TO BUILD HIM UP**

Merlin had been Gaius's apprentice for close to three-quarters of a year. He'd experienced the breathtaking beauty of the late winter with its bone chilling nights, the wetness of the spring and the drowsy heaviness of the hot summer days. His life had been varied and he faced each new experience with an adventurous spirit which had on a few occasions caused him grief.

He had become embroiled in an ongoing argument between one of the more senior menservants and a young upcoming servant. It had come to his attention upon seeing the older man purposely trip the younger man as he served at one of the banquets over the harvest celebrations. It was an obvious move on the part of Dexter and the young man landed heavily on the flagstones but not before loosing control of his heavily laden tray. The food went everywhere and what did not land on the table was quickly pushed away from the area where the servants would be passing.

A few of the knights had given a half-hearted round of applause at the sound of the crashing pewter and wooded platters. However, almost immediately the volume of talking was once again at its regular level. Merlin watched carefully and by the lack of response from some of the other senior table servers it was apparent that this was not the first time that Dexter had pulled that stunt. He wondered if it were maybe an initiation of sorts for a newcomer. If it were, it was a flagrant waste of good food not to mention any injury the man might have sustained.

Merlin could imagine that once all the torches and candles had been extinguished, the local rodents would have be having their own celebration. He knew that early the following day, the young server would spend most of his times on his hands and knees as he cleaned up the mess he had made. Servants aspiring to serve at table had to be strong, agile and capable of negotiating uneven stairs, flagstones and heavily laden trays with ease.

He accepted the fact that he would have made a frightful servant as he could trip over daisies and dandelions without any provocation.

-0-0-

He remembered walking with Arthur who one pleasant spring afternoon had insisted that he would accompany him on his herb gathering and how he had said, "Merlin, watch out for the root at the top of the bank!"

…and he did honestly watch out for it but still managed to get it entangled in the tip of his boot and stumbled and if it hadn't been for Arthur's quick grabbing of his jacket he would have unceremoniously slid on his knees to the bottom of the gully.

Arthur had released him once he realised that he was all right and had laughed at him. Not in an unkind way as Merlin could see from Arthur's face a mixture of relief that he was not hurt, before the realisation that it had been funny struck him. Merlin had grinned as well.

Smiling Arthur dragged him to his feet saying, "There is no need to prostrate yourself in front of me, a nod of your head is quite acceptable, or really nothing as in your position you are subservient only to my father and not me…well, not until I become king and then I will expect a formal bow of recognition each time we meet."

"Don't hold your breath!" Merlin had said with a cheeky grin as he dusted off his trousers.

Arthur laughed thinking how he couldn't take offence at what Merlin said because there was no maliciousness in it. He wondered what would happen if he used the same phrase on his father the next time he was told to do something which didn't appeal to him. He could see it. His father would say seriously, 'Arthur, before the dignitaries arrive, you as crown prince will peruse our legal standing on the treaties in question.'

He closed his eyes and imagined saying, 'Don't hold your breath, Father!' He smiled to himself, he would certainly have been in trouble and probably forbidden from training with the squires or doing anything which he found pleasurable.

He smiled before saying, "Does Gaius often allow you out on your own? He must know something that I don't and have the utmost confidence that you will return safely in one piece."

-0-0-

Merlin came back to the present as Dexter walked past Gaius and him smiling. That evening in the dining hall, what had annoyed Merlin most had been the smirk on Dexter's face as some of the other servants quickly came to the younger man's aid. Merlin decided to make it his business to watch the older man to see how he interacted with the other servants. He had a minor position of importance as he was in charge of seeing that the tables in his section were served. He overdid the bowing every time a knight acknowledged him and Merlin was pleased that he was stationed across the room and nowhere near them.

The king had not been present in the hall which was good as he had an unfortunate habit of enjoying seeing people embarrassed and his action seemed to set the mood for the situation.

He would laugh out loud drawing people's attention to the unfortunate soul. Some of his cronies would also remark about the situation but others would have a fixed smile on their faces as if the king's behaviour made them feel uncomfortable. Merlin had mentioned it to Gaius who had said that the king would see it differently if it had been his meal or pitcher of mead which had landed on the floor.

The servants for the king's table were handpicked and experienced, everyone worked smoothly together and if the king had been asked to point out who had served him, he probably would not have been able to do so. He had his own meat carver and wine steward and his personal manservant was always at hand.

Through judicious questioning without raising any suspicions, Merlin found out that the young servant was Sam the oldest son of Arthur's manservant Martin. For years there had been competition between Dexter and Martin and now Dexter was taking every opportunity to make Martin's son's life a misery.

Merlin hadn't seen much of Arthur recently, he was keeping well and it was infrequently that their paths crossed. However, he knew that with the upcoming Harvest celebrations, Arthur and the king would be present at the meals.

Gaius had given him an idea of the importance of a good harvest. He had explained that the meat from animals slaughtered in the autumn would keep the castle going over the winter. Hunting of the king's deer by the royal huntsmen would supplement this, however should the weather be unsafe for hunting, the kitchens relied on the meat butchered in September, cured and kept hanging in huge lockers near the kitchens. Everything was organised according to the type of food being stored. Whereas villagers might subsist on vegetables and grains, the inhabitants of the castle expected better.

Over the winter there were always house guests and they were fed in the custom there were used to. Even going over the top if they were there to be impressed by the ruler of Camelot. Merlin was looking forwards to some of the celebrations. Gaius spoke fondly of the Harvest supper which in some cases was rivalled only by the Yuletide feast.

-0-0-

One day Merlin was returning from the senior knights' wing, where he had made a delivery of medication for Gaius and while there had checked on one of the elderly knight's ulcerated leg. He was coming back along the corridor his mind miles away and he had heard a hushed voice saying his name. He'd spun around but had seen no one. He was ready to high tail it out of there when he saw an arm coming out of a doorway and the fingers on the hand beckoning him.

He had two choices, stand and face the consequences of being curious or take off. This time the voice was clearer and he caught his name accompanied by the command, "Come here! Merlin, it's me!"

He then recognised the voice as Arthur's albeit rather muffled, he walked towards the door which was suddenly opened and he was grabbed and hauled in. He spun around to face his surmised aggressor who by then was unwinding a woollen muffler from his face and grinning. He was facing a very pleased with himself Arthur.

"What was that all about? When you grabbed me, I could have turned on you and seriously hurt you!"

Arthur looked at him and smiled benignly saying, "I doubt it!"

"I could have…I might have…if I hadn't recognised you…"

Arthur smiled, Merlin was so cute when he was all riled up, "Well, sorry, I didn't intend to frighten you…"

"I wasn't frightened! If I had been frightened I would have run off down the corridor. I was curious but being careful. You might have been a stranger planning to do awful things to me…

Arthur looked at the tousled haired man in front of him and his mind surprised him by thinking, 'Don't give me ideas!'

"…and I might have been tied up in this room and left here to starve to death and never found and Gaius would have been sick with worry!" Merlin glanced around the room which was furnished with dust sheets over most things, "What's this room used for?"

"It used to be my nursery but then I was moved to the royal floor when I no longer needed a nursemaid."

Merlin huffed insinuating that he felt that maybe Arthur might still be in need of one.

"No, honestly it was. I can show you my toys if you want."

Merlin would have quite enjoyed looking through Arthur's childhood treasures but he remembered that he was on a job for Gaius and said, "I don't have time right now as Gaius is expecting me back." His voice softened as he added, "We could do it again sometime if you like."

Arthur sighed, "Merlin, do you think I got you here to look at my toys, I got off track when you asked me what room it was. I needed to see you because Martin is very upset as his son Sam has gone missing!"

Merlin forgot Gaius and his need to return to his own chambers as Arthur moved over a dust sheet to reveal the end of a rather large bed.

"How did you ever manage to sleep in that bed as a youngster? You must have been lost most of the time?"

"Martin's Sam…!"

"Right!" Merlin said but couldn't help sharing, "When I first slept by myself it was in a corner near the fire, on the floor no less and I had to decide which way I wanted to lie before doing so as it was such a small area that I couldn't turn over. However, it was warm and my Mam had given me a blanket of my own and I had a pile of dried grasses to lie upon."

Arthur raised his eyes to heaven but didn't interrupt as he was actually interested in what Merlin was saying.

"During the really cold weather, my Mam and I used to share a bed and one winter it was so cold that old Mrs. Jones and her husband Alfie came and joined us along with their three grandchildren. We only had one fire going instead of two but were surprisingly warm all cuddled together."

Arthur's mind was ahead of him as he asked, "…and do they still do that in the villagers if the weather is inclement?"

"Only if it is dangerously cold as otherwise sleeping by yourself in a bed might mean a premature death. You can share body heat, you know!" Merlin said as he fingered the heavy coverlet which they were sitting on. He thought to himself, 'Imagine being so rich that you could leave bedding on a bed in a room which was no longer being used.'

Arthur was wondered how warm it would be wrapped in a blanket on a bed of dried grasses snuggling with Merlin…he shook his head as he came back to the present and Merlin saying, "But, I digress, tell me, what happened and why does Martin feel that his son has gone missing?"

Raising his eyes to heaven and sighing, Arthur said patiently, "Because neither he nor anyone else from his fellow servers to the cooks, has seen him."

"When did he go missing?"

"Three days ago…"

"Does he often take off like that?"

"No, he has a young wife and she is according to Martin in the family way. They live with her parents. Her father works as a slate roofer in the castle."

"Well, it sounds improbable that he just up and left." Merlin said, then he remembered the situation between Dexter and the young servant.

"If I can get a few hours off tomorrow and Gaius could give you the time, could we search for him?" Arthur asked. "I know Martin and his brother would be willing to join us."

As the castle was full of knights and squires, Merlin couldn't see how four people would accomplish much. Surely the king could have told someone to arrange a search party and then he realised that a lowly under-servant would hardly call for such an elaborate search. To the king and the majority of knights, villagers were a dime a dozen and could easily be replaced. The main function of a villager was to make the castle residents' lives easier as personal servants and general castle staff. He realised that it made more sense for the search party to be made up of fewer people who would be able to pass by unnoticed as apposed to half a regiment of soldiers.

Merlin still had his doubts, as searching through a castle the size of Camelot when he was only just figuring out the layout himself might prove difficult. He decided to do it with one provision, "Could I go with you when we search, Arthur, as if I also get lost then you would be searching for two missing people."

"But we wouldn't need to search for you as we would know that you were just lost and like the proverbial hound would finally turn up when you were well and truly hungry." Arthur looked at him and realised that he had possibly believed him so he added, "Don't get all downfallen, I promise that I won't lose you and certainly would never abandon you…even if I did!"

"Well, that makes me feel a little bit better at least!" Merlin said. He couldn't really understand why he had mentioned getting lost as he had an acute sense of direction and although he might go a roundabout way, he always managed to reach his destination in one piece. It was however, comforting to know that in his off-handed way, Arthur did value his company.

Rising off the bed, Arthur said, "Great, we will make up one team." He turned to look down at Merlin and his heart expressed truth as he said quietly, "…and I will take good care of you."

Merlin smiled as he stood and said, "Don't know if I should consider that a promise or a threat. Just don't leave me all by myself in some abandoned area of the castle. But now, I really have to go, Gaius will be thinking that I have absconded…" he placed the linen bag over his shoulder patting it affectionately as he said, "…with his bag of tricks."

Shaking his head, Arthur laughed, "After having been on the receiving end of some of the contents of that bag, I might suggest that you ditch it. Gosh, some of the things Gaius has had me consume under the guise of life-saving medicinal substances and the like have been disgusting!"

He reached the door first and holding it open, ushered Merlin and his satchel out of the room. "Let me know when Gaius can give you a few hours and I'll try to fit it into my busy schedule."

Merlin grinned and raised his eyes to heaven, "You're not the only one with a high-pressured job you know! I'm the one and only apprentice, to one who regularly saves lives."

"And I'm in training to be a lifesaver as a knight and also way down the line to being a king," Arthur said jostling him slightly. Of course, Arthur's jostle was a little more forceful than he had intended and he had to grab Merlin who was then off balance and in danger of brushing face first against the stone walls of the corridor.

"Sorry, got a little carried away," Arthur said as he twisted him around and straightened him up against the wall. "I'm used to the rough and tumble life of the squires when you give back more than what you got to begin with."

"Possibly, survival of the fittest?" Merlin mused. "Dread to think what you might do to an enemy if that is what you do to a friend!"

Arthur stood their motionless, one hand near Merlin's shoulder and the other hanging onto the strap of the physician's satchel. He could hear his heart beating in his ears and all his energy seemed consumed in taking in the young man in front of him.

He glanced at Merlin and realised that he was looking back at him intently with a glint in his eyes and a soft smile forming on his lips. Arthur smiled and broke the spell as Merlin pulled back and shook his head, "Arthur, I have to be on my way."

Neither of them were conscious of a portly figure further down the corridor. Gaius shrugged his shoulders and smiled to himself, at least he'd found his missing apprentice.

-0-0-

The search party set out mid afternoon two days later. Merlin had done some prior checking and found out where in the maze of servants' quarters Dexter slept. While most of the servants were at work, Arthur, Martin, Norman Sam's younger brother and Merlin made their way through the castle. They split up and started checking common servant areas first and then made their way to one section next to the servant's quarters which because of the need for repairs had been abandoned. In a large castle, the list of repairs was always long and priority was given to areas used by the majority of people and the servant quarters did not rank highly on the list.

Merlin had reported to Arthur and Martin what he had witnessed in the dining hall and Martin was not surprised and said, "He's got a nasty streak that Dex. No love lost between our families."

They split into two groups and made their way quietly into the abandoned area. Standing perfectly still they waited but their arrival had not resulted in any cries for of help. Martin called softly, "Sam, it's me your Da! Are ye there?"

This time Merlin picked up sound which might have been a displaced stone hitting the floor. He motioned for the others to stay and crept across the main room to a passageway on the left. He stopped and motioned for Martin to call again. This time they all heard the rumble as more objects hit the floor.

Arthur was beside him in an instant and the four of them advanced beyond the passage way into a large dormitory with a few discarded sleeping pallets. They stood still and again Martin called, "Sam, make noise again!"

Moving deliberately ahead, Arthur led the others into an antechamber and lying awkwardly on the floor, bound hand and foot and gagged was Sam looking the worse for wear and covered in stone dust.

Merlin followed Martin to him and refused to let him be moved until he had checked him for broken bones. Norman handed him a water-skin and Merlin convinced that he was not too badly injured allowed him two sips of water.

Martin released his son's ankles as Arthur unbound his hands, he immediately reached for more water. His father tenderly brushed the stone dust from his face. "Son, we were so worried!"

The whole story came out as the five of them made their way back to Martin's quarters. Dexter had tricked him and managed on the pretence of helping to clear sections prior to repairs being done, to overpower him and drag him into the abandoned section. "I was so stupid," Sam said, "I should have seen through his ruse."

Arthur told him not to blame himself and later that evening as he got ready to retire, told Martin he would speak to Humphrey the assistant to the Lord Chamberlain about another position for Sam. Knowing that many times being a manservant runs in families, he intended to suggest that he start his training by assisting the menservants of the elderly knights. The further he was away from the serving staff the better.

-0-0-

That night in bed, Arthur was satisfied in his involvement with the outcome of Martin's son's problems. Martin was a good manservant who suited him and if his son in a couple of years was of the same calibre he would also be a credit to his family. He thought about their luck in finding Sam alive and dust covered.

He had a strange deja-vu feeling that his brain was trying to tell him something he was missing, some knowledge in the back of his mind which he couldn't quite grasp…a celebration, tall buildings, stone dust and especially Merlin hovering over someone, pain and an eerie wailing.

He couldn't figure it out and instead, let his thoughts wander and Merlin drifted into his mind as he did regularly before he fell asleep. He thanked the powers that be who had sent him to Gaius and smiled as he recalled the great team the two of them had made.

Unbeknownst to the others, Arthur also had a few words with the head of the serving staff and Dexter was removed from his dining hall position and relegated to kitchen duties.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2 : SQUIRES IN DEMAND**

The knights were going on a sortie to settle a disagreement between two villages in the east of the kingdom and taking squires with them.

"Crack the opponents' heads together, just do something to settle the situation!" Uther said annoyed, he wanted the problem solved yesterday and as it was, it was dragging on through his supper.

"Sire, we might consider destroying the weaker village and relocating the villagers either to a new location or scattering them throughout the kingdom where space permits."

Uther nodded as that suggestion from Sir Roxted made sense. He would however have preferred to have kept the two villages where they were, as the north-eastern boundary was sparsely settled but the continual bickering and fighting between the inhabitants meant that they were always calling on the king and council to send guards and knights to settled their frays.

At the end of the week, a group of hand-chosen senior squires and six knights supported by a troop of guards would be making their way to Hillsley to settle the dispute and solve the problem once and for all.

Earlier in the afternoon, Arthur had scowled at his father. His name had been on the list as one of the four but his father had refused permission for him to go on the outing as he felt that it might be dangerous and preferred him instead to spend his days training rather than gallivanting around.

Arthur had tried every argument he could think of to convince the king that it would be an unparalleled learning opportunity. He would be with knights and guards as well as his brother squires. He doubted that they would be doing any actual fighting more likely supporting the knights with whom they were paired.

He couldn't face telling the others that his father wouldn't let him go. It would be so infuriating as he was after all a senior squire and next June would be invested. He even had visions of sneaking away and accompanying the group in disguise but no one would want to face the wrath of the king should something happen, so once found, he would probably have been returned under escort to the castle.

He made a perfunctory bow to his father and to show his displeasure stomped audibly out of the throne room.

The king raised his eyes to heaven and said to Gaius who happened to be there, "Count yourself lucky that you were not saddled with a son…"

"If it is to be as dangerous as you think, Sire, maybe the other squires should not accompany the knights this time?"

"I don't think it will be any more dangerous than any conflict; if it even reaches that stage but I have only one son and I need him to be safe. Who knows what might happen, a stray arrow or a spear, even a knife or a fall from his horse or eating something poisonous? Sorties are always dangerous. Bandits might even be present in the woods and the ransom to return a crown prince would be exorbitant even if we could get him back."

Gaius nodded, thought for a while and said, "Although I cannot guarantee that anything will happen, I have a suggestion." The king nodded and waited for Gaius to continue, "Let me send my apprentice on the sortie. He's surprisingly capable and it would ease your mind as he would be able to deal with minor wounds and other problems."

"Does he know enough?"

"He has a flare for healing and has a good head on his shoulders. You could make him responsible to the most senior knight. The knights are used to him treating them and he gets on well with everyone."

"Would you trust his judgement if you were sick?"

"…with my life!" Gaius affirmed.

"Could you maybe suggest that he keeps a special eye on Arthur? Not that Arthur must ever know?"

Gaius nodded, "I don't believe that that will be a problem at all, Sire."

"Also tell him that when Arthur returns safe and sound, there will be something in it for him."

"He won't expect that, Sire. He will just be doing his job."

"Tell him anyway. Everyone likes a reward every now and then. Would he be ready to leave at the end of the week?"

Gaius nodded, so Uther turned to his manservant Richard and told him to find Sir Romney who would be leading the sortie, "Tell him that my son will be accompanying him as his squire."

Shortly after that Gaius also left to return to his chambers to tell a surprised Merlin that he would be accompanying a group of knights on a sortie to the North East and what exactly the king wanted of him.

"He wants me to keep an eye on his son? Good heavens, that's a big responsibility isn't it?"

"Yes it is, don't do anything to draw attention to yourself just act your usual self and keep your eyes open. Tomorrow, we make a list of what supplies you might need and you can go to the stable to find a horse to suit you. Did you get everything done here today?"

Merlin nodded, "All the herbs are prepared for tomorrow and the lotions are in their clay pots. Can I go and tell Arthur that I will be going on the sortie with them?"

"No, he will see you when you leave the courtyard with them on Friday. Now nip downstairs to the kitchens to see what is being served for supper and if there is anything you think we might like, while I finish up here."

-0-0-

Merlin lay in bed trying to recall all the things which might happen on a sortie. All he really had experience with were the injuries that knights and guards sustained and the fact that they returned to the castle for treatment by Gaius. Hopefully the conflict which Gaius had tried to explain to him over supper would be peacefully settled and no one would be seriously hurt.

What would his Mam think? He rolled over and fell asleep to dream of bandages, cuts and scrapes and for some silly reason babies being born…

-0-0-

Arthur had been thrilled being notified by Sir Romney that the king had subsequently decided that he was after all allowed to go on the sortie. He returned to his classes the following day in a much better frame of mind.

The squires Prince Arthur, James of Rohallion, Piers of Sherewell, Arthur's closest friend among the squires and Brynn of Leister were paired with Sirs Romney of Montfieth, Aislin of Muldart, Cadmus of Trent and Rook of Melton respectively. Two other knights, the brothers Sir Roger and Sir Nigel of Langham were also in the group.

Arthur knew what was expected of him. He was to serve Sir Romney as his manservant and groom. He would prepare his horse daily and be responsible for it when the knight was not mounted. He would make sure that his knight's armour and weapons were looked after and in good repair. At mealtime, he would make sure that his knight was served and his goblet kept well filled, he would also make sure that the water-skins were filled and bedrolls securely attached to saddles. Any messages which his knight might need to send to other knights, he would deliver and just be there as an extra pair of hands when needed. He was not expected to fight in any conflicts unless specifically ordered to.

Regardless of all the do's and don'ts, he was excited, they would spend at least one night on the road and then as many as needed for the knights to settle the situation which might have blown over by the time they arrived.

He felt very important when the Squire Master announced to all the squires the names of the four seniors who would be accompanying the knights to Hillsley. He remembered his first overnight camping as a junior squire, what should have been fun turned into a soggy washout as they had to camp in the woods, the rain was incessant and he slept little, waking with a wet back when water running off the tree where he was stationed had pooled on the ground and he had been lying in it.

He had innocently mentioned to the assistant squire master that if they had ridden home when the rain had first started, they would have been sleeping in warm beds. That had not gone over well and as a result he was placed with one of the knights who had lost the draw and had to keep watch over the camp from midnight till dawn. The chap was interesting to talk to but Arthur was tired, cold and miserable and would have preferred to have been sleeping. He did however learn two things, that even as a crown prince, you did not question the decisions of the assistant squire master and do not lie in hollowed ground at the base of a tree.

His father had laughed upon hearing of the situation telling the Squire Master that Arthur like his father obviously enjoyed the niceties of life before he added that it was a good lesson learned and the assistant squire master should be complimented on his dealing with the matter.

-0-0-

Friday dawned clear and bright. By early morning, four squires were standing in the courtyard holding the bridles of their own and their knights' horses. Arthur was glad to be with Sir Romney as he was interesting and a good sort. He expected to enjoy himself over the next couple of days.

Soon the knights arrived and mounted as did the squires, they met up with the ten guards at the bottom of the hill near their stables and formed a procession of sorts. The six knights led, followed by the squires, the guards and a couple of grooms,with extra horses and a loaded packhorse and…a physician's apprentice.

Arthur had noticed Gaius on the steps as they left the courtyard and he had nodded at him wondering where his apprentice was, never realising that he was with the support staff at the end of the column.

Their first break was to water and rest the horses, they had passed small villages but Sir Romney had waited for a desolate stretch of the river to call everyone to a halt, Arthur was responsible for not only his horse but Sir Romney's Golpin who soon made it plain that he was not enamoured having Arthur's Rally beside him and Arthur felt sure that his arms were going to be pulled out of their sockets. He knew they'd finally settle and he hoped sooner than later.

There was a real pecking order among the horses and Golpin felt that after being the leader all morning he deserved preferential treatment.

Sir Rook laughed and pointed out the tussle that Arthur was having, Romney shook his head saying, "Oh, he's just showing Rally who is boss, he'll have settled by noon and become the well-behaved gentleman he usually is."

Sir James laughed remembering the bruise he had had on his ankle after riding too close to Golpin one day when he was not acing as a well-behaved gentleman.

Horses watered and rested, everyone mounted facing another hour and a half ride before arriving at a village with an ale house, where the knights would have a drink and a light meal before continuing until they reached the area where they intended to camp. The guards gathered in another area to have something to eat and the squires were told to sit under the tree in the centre of the village and be ready to get the knights' horses when they were ready to depart.

By the time, the horses had been tied up under the supervision of the grooms, it seemed that the squires only had time to sit down on the ground and eat the meal of bread and cheese which had been packed in their saddle bags, before they were called to get the knight's horses and they were back on the road.

Arthur had an easy morning as he had ridden along with the other squires yet more than once he had been conscious of something or someone one watching him. He turned and all he could see behind him were Sirs Roger and Nigel and then the guards. Left and right of him were woods and in some areas pastures. It was a strange feeling not upsetting just unsettling.

Roads came in all sorts from forest and woodland trails to farmers' tracks, from village roads to the more popular Roman roads which had been built hundred of years ago and for the main part were still in excellent condition. In some areas the bridges were still safe and many hours of riding could be saved if your destination was close to one of the Roman roads. Villages had grown up along these roads many with inns offered travellers nightly accommodation and food. The knights had their favourites and reckoned the distance back to Camelot by the location of various inns.

After a rather difficult ride for a few miles through thick scrub which slowed the horses considerably, the squires were pleased to see one of the Roman roads. Sir Aislin said "Romney, was that detour necessary? If we had continued to Pefferlaw with the guards, we could have reached here on a better tracks."

Romney grinned and said, that as this was a learning experience for the squires he had been told to let them see what they might be facing in the future. "Anyway, the weather is clear and we will be camping out tonight but hopefully some of us will be put up by the villagers when we reach Hillsley."

Brynn said to the other squires within hearing, "That is not always a positive experience as one time I was given accommodation in a village headman's cottage and I really would have been better off sleeping out with the horses. Woke up covered by fleas bites with some kid snuffling in my face. How I didn't catch whatever he had, I don't know!"

The others laughed as Romney signalled for the knights and the squires to proceed at a trot. They soon met up with the guards who were waiting on the road. Merlin who so far was enjoying the outing, turned his head away from the knight's and the squires as they trotted by. He knew that Arthur must have been in the group of squires but he wanted to surprise him when they were in camp.

He would have enjoyed riding beside Arthur as they could have chattered the whole time. Maybe now that he had a horse to ride, one day in the future they could go out together picking herbs, they could go much further afield on horseback and maybe bring back some elusive herb which Gaius had been searching for but had never found.

Finally Romney called a halt and explained that they would be turning off the road and making their way to an abandoned village. "Many of the buildings are in ruins but the remaining walls and some of the roofs will provide a windbreak," he explained to the squires.

"But it's just piles of tumbled stones!" Arthur remarked upon seeing the site.

"Tell Sir Romney that you don't approve and maybe he'll let us go on to the next village that has an inn," Piers suggested with a grin, "or, make you do double duty on watch tonight…"

"I think we'd better just make ourselves comfortable wherever we are told to camp," Brynn said, "remember we're still squires, so we have to settle the horses, help to serve the evening meal and make sure our knights are settled before we eat and turn in."

Romney motioned to a roofless building and told the squires that would be where they were sleeping. "Now get the horses settled and see to our meals," he said, turning away with a smile as he heard the sighs.

As they were busy the time passed quickly and finally they were ready to sit down to a thick stew, bread and some coarse cheese. Arthur smiled as sitting on the floor near his belongings were four apples which he passed out to the others. Anything was acceptable as they hadn't eaten since noon.

They lay down their bedrolls beside the wall and within minutes most of them were asleep. Piers said, "That was a nice gift of the apples, do you think one of the knights put them there?"

"Doubt it," Arthur said, "they would probably have given them to their horses over us. You know who is really good at finding things to eat? Merlin, he knows all about mushrooms and berries and where to find apples and nuts. Don't think he would ever go hungry in the woods."

"Shame he's not around. Do you like walnuts? I told my brother that they were dried squirrel brains and he got into trouble for refusing to eat them. Thought my father was going to have a fit but tell you one thing, Spenser never said who had told him that."

"Think if I had to have a brother I wouldn't have minded if he were like Spenser," Arthur said before yawning and saying, "Good night!"

-0-0-

Merlin seemed only to have put his head down before he was being woken up as the cook prepared gruel for breakfast. He stood up and stretched, he'd made himself a nice little hollow and lined it with pine branches and spent a comfortable night. He made his way to the stream and splashed the cold water in his face before having a drink. He then wandered off into the woods to 'find a tree' as he never was too sure when the next opportunity would arise.

He checked with Boris the leader of the guards that no one had reported illness or injury and then bumping into Sir Roger asked the same of the knights. "Everyone is hale and hearty, to the best of my knowledge," Roger said.

"And the squires?"

"Well, they were watering the horses the last time I saw them. They all seemed to have survived the night."

Merlin was satisfied that nothing awful had happened to anyone so he made his way to where the cook was now handing out bowls of porridge. He had not yet seen the squires who were seeing to the needs of the knights prior to breaking their own fasts. As he went back to his campsite, he pumped into Piers who gave him a big grin.

"Merlin, what a surprise! I didn't know that we had a physician with us," he said with a big smile.

"Well, technical only an apprentice but I guess better than nothing in the case of a medical emergency."

"Arthur never mentioned it, does he know that you are here?"

"Shouldn't think so as I have been with the staff at the back of the group. Good place to be actually as you're with the kitchen staff and I was famished after yesterday's ride." They made their way to the cook's tent where Piers asked for two breakfasts for Sir Romney and Cadmus. He then left to return to the knights.

Within the hour everyone was mounted and they were ready to push on for another day. If the weather held Romney hoped to reach the Hillsley area by early evening.

The group encountered no trouble and arrived around noon at a small village called Chew Magna which was blessed with a fine inn into which the six knights repaired immediately leaving their squires to look after their horses and themselves. Once the horses were seen to, the cook supplied them with a meal of dried fish and bread. They were hungry and Arthur although it was not to his liking swallowed it down.

Piers looked out for Merlin but didn't see him. He had intended to mention it to Arthur during the morning but he had been kept busy as while they were riding Sir Cadmus motioned for him to ride beside him and quizzed him on things pertaining to the duties of a squire and the necessity to know ahead of time what the knight might be needing next and be ready to hand it to him before he even had time to ask. "It's a serious position especially when we are in danger, you need to almost think like a knight and have whichever weapon is necessary at hand. You would also be expected to make sure that your knight looked his best. No matter how tired you feel, prior to your turning in for the night your knight's armour must be checked, all blades sharpened and ready to be used. I remember it as a hard life but excellent training for the day King Uther invests you with a Knighthood."

Piers had heard all of this before as his father was Sir Rodney Sherewell and he had aspirations that both of his sons Piers and Spenser would become knights when they were of age.

Sir Cadmus dismissed him and Piers fell back into line with the squires.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 : AN INTERESTING TRAVELLING COMPANION**

Piers had hoped to get word to Arthur that Merlin was with them but he hadn't been able to as just as he had his attention, he heard Sir Cadmus yell at him to see to his horse. He shrugged at Arthur and returned to his duties.

Merlin had seen Arthur when he was at the tie line with the horses. He had watched from afar as Arthur was after all about his duties as a squire and Gaius had told him that he was not there to interfere with anyone's routine just to be available should anything go wrong and that he could always see Arthur when they returned to Camelot. However, the desire to make contact with Arthur when he saw him was very strong and he had to stop himself from whistling at him to catch his attention.

Maybe it was better not to distract him as he had heard Sir Cadmus yell at Piers and he didn't want the same thing happening to Arthur.

The lunch break later in the day gave Piers the opportunity to share his news. Arthur was surprised even shocked to hear that Merlin was around. He immediately turned around searching for him but couldn't see him and decided that the explained the feelings he had had that he was being watched which had made him preoccupied and sure that something was happening.

Mid-afternoon, Romney called a break and explained that the village in questions was over the next hill. He was certain that the headsmen of both villages had been notified that they were about to have visitors. His job would be to deliver an ultimatum from the king and give the two villages time to sort everything out. He told the squires that the knights would be going down into the village and they would remain with Sir Nigel to follow in a short while.

Arthur hoped that the delay would give him an opportunity to find Merlin but Sir Nigel made it quite clear that they were not to go wandering around and once the guards and remaining staff caught up to them they would be descending in orderly fashion into Hillsley.

By the time the squires arrived in the village they were expected to take charge of the knights' horses and to wait nearby. Arthur had by then seen Merlin but had had no opportunity to make eye contact or speak to him.

Arthur tuned into the discussion which Romney was having with the leaders of the villages. There were a few raised voices but he had control of the situation. A table had been pulled into the area in front of the village leader's home and two men, Romney and Rook were seated there.

Piers whispered to him, "It sounds as if he is reading a riot act."

Arthur nodded as he heard Romney say, "Coexist peacefully or both villages will be moved. The cottages will be demolished, your animals seized and you and your families will have to find other accommodation. King Uther is serious. Should one village decide they cannot accept the ruling, they will have to vacate all their properties and leave. Should you however, see yourselves living normally within this area, both villages may stay. You have until this time three days hence to give me your decisions."

He nodded at Aislin who continued, "It would be wise to take this seriously, as both villages have a long history in this area. The land is fertile and produces well for your families. It would be stupid to give up your family homes. I have two copies of King Uther's orders, they are to be posted in your villages and the headsmen are to explain them to every villager who is of age. The villagers will then decide if they wish to remain and live peacefully or pull up stakes and leave."

"Are there any questions?" Romney asked. The leaders from each village shook their heads. The law as it stood was clear. They understood the ramifications, live in harmony with their neighbouring village or forfeit all their lands and homes. Only once everyone had been informed and had his or her say could the villagers, as a group decide what their village intended to do.

As Romney left the table an older man came over and said, "Sir Knight, years ago we was all like one village living 'appily and doing well, then two of us's families started a feud over a cow of all things and everything went down 'ill afta that. Most of usuns wants to stay 'ere, but us and our voices is offen jus' put on one side. My wife is sick and I'm old we'd die in the winter if we had to live in them thar wuds."

Romney explained that the decision had to be made as a village but assured the old man that the King's men would not see anyone turfed out of their cottage without helping them to find another village willing to take them in.

"Thank you Sir! God bless you, Sir, and our good King Uther…!" and the chap turned away to join an elderly woman on sticks. He put his arm around her shoulders and they toddled back to one of the smaller cottages followed by a black and white sheepdog almost as old as they were.

-0-0-

Romney turned down the invitation to stay with the leaders of the village explaining that he still had further to travel but would be leaving Sir Aislin in charge and would return in a couple of days to hear the villagers' decisions.

Aislin wished to speak to both the Squire Brynn and Prince Arthur. They were pleasantly surprised to learn that they would be accompanying Sirs Romney and Roger to a monastery on the outskirts of a nearby town to meet up with two travellers who would be accompanying them back to Camelot. "Brynn, you will squire for Sir Roger so behave yourself. Should Sir Romney so wish, he will fill in the rest of the information."

Arthur looked at Brynn and raised his eyebrows this has the makings of a cloak and dagger situation, he managed to say to him, "…much better that babysitting local villagers."

Aislin heard him and said, "Arthur, all duties assigned are of importance it is just that some are more exciting than others. A knight will not get the opportunity to pick and choose those which are more appealing to him. The two of you, remember that!"

"Yes, Sir Knight!" the two squires quickly responded.

"Good, now get the horses ready and wait over there for Sir Romney. Remember your current position in life is to support the knights, they will not be babysitting you so keep it in mind that you are responsible for your own actions. Do not consider doing anything that is rash or dangerous." He smiled slightly as he added, "Squires are indispensable, not so knights!"

He walked away but not before glancing over his shoulder at the now subdued squires, and smiled as he added, "Don't forget to enjoy yourselves!"

Romney was later to say, "For heaven's sake, Aislin, what did you say to them? They were as quiet as mice for the first hour. Never seen a squire so intent on my every move. Good Lord, when I went off into the woods at one point, I felt sure that Arthur was going to follow me to see if I needed any help picking a suitable tree. In all seriousness they were well behaved and most useful."

-0-0-

Arthur was surprised to see that the group consisted of more than two knights and their squires. There was quite a group accompanying them; two guards, a groom with two extra horses loaded with sacks of grain and other boxed supplies, and surprisingly Merlin. Arthur was able to nod at him but it was only later during a break that he learnt that he was carrying a letter from Gaius for a Brother Aloysius

"You knew you were going to the monastery but you never told me," Arthur exclaimed.

"How could I? I never had the opportunity to speak to you and Gaius warned me that this outing was not a holiday and you would be working as I would. Not that I wouldn't have liked to have a little company during the ride as the soldiers only ever speak to each other and although the groom seems very nice, he speaks more to his horses that he does to me." He motioned to the saddle bag on his saddle, "I was able to jump on and off and pick up specimens for Gaius. This little horse is great, jump off tie him to a tree and he happily munches on any greenery within reach until I come back and then we'd race to catch up with all of you and surprisingly, I don't think anyone was any the wiser."

"That was dangerous, separated from us, you might have been waylaid by robbers," Arthur stated a little worried.

"Well, once they realised that I had nothing of value except a letter, I'm sure they would have abandoned me. If the worse comes to the worse, I'd have backtracked to Camelot."

"You're young and sort of strong…"

"Thank you for that vote of confidence!"

"No, I mean as you are strong, they would probably decide to keep you and sell you to some rich farmer who needed field workers."

"Could be worse, I could have been sold to a king and have ended up being a manservant to an obnoxious prince."

Arthur laughed aloud and Romney looked up calling, "Enough, Arthur, you are here to work not entertain Gaius's apprentice. Get the horses, we are ready to leave."

"Duty calls!" he managed to say under his breath before returning to Sir Romney. He had a nice warm feeling, deep down he knew that he would have happily ridden at the rear of the group to keep Merlin company. He had to stop himself from turning around to see if Merlin was still with the group.

Again he was having those strange feelings that there was something which he didn't understand. Strange people and a strange place but Merlin was there so it must be all right.

The eight riders returned to the road. Luckily the weather was clear and they were able to continue for a few hours until they reached a larger village which boasted an inn and everyone's spirits seemed to rise.

Sir Roger went to sort out some accommodation while the squires followed Sir Romney and one of the family members to a barn which would provide an area for their horses. It was acceptable so Sir Romney told the squires to settle the horses and leave them in the care of the Camelot groom then to meet him in the ale room in the inn with their sleeping rolls.

As they made their way across the farmyard, Brynn said, "Do you think he'll offer us an ale?"

"Doubt it as we are on duty until told otherwise. Do you like ale?"

"Some not all, it can be really bitter and almost like medicine. One evening my brother gave all of us ale and we fell asleep. My mother thought we were all sick but my father said, 'Drunk my dear!'

"But how could that happen?" My mother wanted to know so my father said nothing but pointed to my older brother and his friends who were spending time with us.

Arthur smiled, it must have been fun to belong to a big family, "You know, they make ale at monasteries," he said, "maybe we will get to sample some there."

"At home, my father gets wine from our local monastery. We used to have it at all celebrations."

They had reached the inn and walked through the door directly into the ale room; once their eyes grew accustomed to the subdued daylight they saw Sir Romney at one of the tables. They joined him waiting to be told to sit down. No drinks were offered to them.

Sir Romney said, "We will stay here tonight, tomorrow we will proceed to Lesschester and the Monastery of St. Hilda. There we will spend another night before returning to Hillsley with two guests, Brother Aloysius a renowned historian and herbalist known to both Sir Geoffrey and Gaius. We will be escorting him to Camelot. He will be accompanied by a younger monk a Brother Anselme. The extra horses will be mounts for the monks on their return to Camelot. The supplies they are presently carrying are gifts to the monastery from the king."

"Don't they have their own horses?" Arthur wanted to know.

"Yes, but they would be palfreys not able to keep up with our larger horses. Brother Aloysius will also have books and probably plant specimens for Gaius."

Sir Roger joined them and a serving girl came over to offer him ale. He took a long drink before saying anything and suddenly Arthur felt thirsty. Roger explained,"What they are offering for tonight seems basic but at least we will be dry. The guards can stay in the next door cottage as the widow accepts guests and we can have the upstairs room here, it has a large bed and enough room for the two of you…" he nodded at Arthur and Brynn, "…on the floor. The groom and Gaius's boy can sleep with the horses."

Romney noticed Arthur's look of dismay that Merlin was to be sleeping in a barn or maybe it was that fact that he himself had been relegated to the floor. Romney wondered if he had ever slept on the floor. Romney smiled, as a knight over the years he had slept in worse places than on the floor in a dry room.

He laughed as he said to Roger, "Do you remember that dump in Huswall with the mice?" He turned to the squires and explained that the king had been in a hurry and pushed his men until it was too dangerous to keep riding and with no inn at hand, a local had offered them for a pretty penny, the use of his family house, which he assured them was long abandoned but dry.

"Dry it might have been," continued Roger, "but once we were all settled on the floor, we were no longer alone. The place was crawling with mice…"

"…and one very astute owl who spend the night perched in the corner on a beam making regularly flights to return with a mouse in its claws. Don't know what was more annoying the pause between hearing the owl flap its wings and the squeak as it dispatched another mouse or the feeling of the mice running across your beard."

"Don't think I slept a wink," Roger said, "and the king seemed oblivious to all the goings on and was well rested the next morning which couldn't be said for his knights and squires."

Brynn wanted to know if there were going to be mice upstairs but Romney assured him not anymore than would be normal in a thatched building. "Anyway, you'll be asleep and you won't know!" He added, "Take all our stuff upstairs and by the time you come down the meal should be ready."

As they went upstairs they passed the back kitchen and could smell the food. "Smells all right," Brynn said.

"As long as it doesn't have any mice in it!" Arthur added teasing him.

The meal was hot and plentiful. The landlord explained that they'd lost a ewe lambing and they were making the best of their misfortune. "We eat well when there's meat available and then have to rely on whatever we can catch. In the bad weather we might be down to just grains but my wife is great at putting food on the table and one Yule she sent the kids out scavenging for anything that was edible. One of the boys found a dead fox and not only did we eat it but I managed to sell the pelt and bought three chickens for eggs."

Arthur was astonished, "And no one got sick?"

"Well, a few of them had the collywobbles but everyone survived!" the man said laughing.

Brynn looked at Arthur and shrugged wondering how long ago the sheep had died. He was hungry and the meat smelt good so he threw caution to the wind and ate up along with the others. If they were all going to spend tomorrow taking breaks and disappearing off into the woods at regular intervals. So be it!

-0-0-

The sleeping arrangement were acceptable. The knights shared the bed and the squires slept on trundle beds which pulled out from under the beds inches from the floor. No mice disturbed anyone and apart from the fact that Sir Roger snored, everyone managed a good night's sleep.

Brynn followed Roger downstairs and Arthur was sent to check on the horses, returning to report that everyone was well and that the guards, the groom and Merlin were eating outside the kitchen door. The dead sheep had obviously been fresh enough.

Romney sent him off to get him some warm water. He did so and was then told to clean himself up at the pump in the yard before going back to get him breakfast which he would take with Roger in the ale room. He would then be free to get his own meal. Arthur had a vision of Martin filling his basin with hot water but shrugged. It was not to be so why even worry about it but he did intend to have a hot bath when he finally returned home.

"So, where is your royal squire?" Roger said laughing as Romney joined him.

"Learning how the other half live, told him to wash off at the pump and then wait for my breakfast and bring it in here. He's a good chap and has the makings of a fine knight. The king told me to make no exceptions for him and I haven't. He pulls his weight and works well with the others."

Breakfast finished, they collected their sleeping rolls and tacked up the horses, Roger settled with the landlord slipping him a little something extra for his wife and his brood of kids. Then the ten horses resumed their way to Lesschester and the monastery.

It was market day and soon the roads were crowded, they took a noon break in one large village and Romney allowed them time to visit the stalls after they had eaten a choice of foods which were on sale. Merlin joined them and the three young men wandered around. Merlin surprisingly found a folio of dried flowers at a very reasonable price as the seller obviously did not realise its value, he checked in his purse but he had not enough money for it and Arthur insisted that they shared the purchase price and Merlin could tell Gaius it was from both of them.

Romney was keeping an eye on them and he later said to Roger, "If only every apprentice in the castle was as conscientious as Gaius's is…"

They soon were back on the road and just as the sun was beginning to go down, they spied the outline of the monastery silhouetted against the lemon sky and Sir Romney breathed a sigh of relief, another day practically over and there was a promise of a clean bed, good basic food and intelligent conversation.

Sir Romney explained that he and Sir Roger would enter the monastery immediately but that Arthur and Brynn as squires would be expected to take the horses to the monastery farm to hand them over to the lay brothers who were the stable staff. They were to remove all the saddle bags and help Merlin with any specimens which Gaius had sent to Brother Aloysius. Merlin as Gaius's apprentice and representative would also be staying in the monastery.

Arthur sighed and raised his eyes to heaven. He was ready for a hot meal and a good bed why did he have to play at being a servant? Romney caught the sigh and the look of exasperation, asking him if there was something more important for him to do than to obey his knight. That brought Arthur to his senses but he was tired and told Sir Romney so.

"If you are incapable of doing a day's ride. I can't see you making it as a knight as we sometimes ride all day, sleep rough and then ride for anther long stretch. A tired squire is a liability, remember that!"

Arthur said, "Yes, Sir Knight…" He felt stupid. The others must have been as tired as he was and now he had been made to look a fool. He'd have to learn to keep his opinions to himself in future.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4 : SAINT HILDA'S MONASTERY**

After seeing the horses settled, Arthur felt in a better frame of mind. He decided that it might be wise to apologise to Sir Romney as he had been out of line and had acted more like a crown prince than the humble unopinionated squire he was supposed to be.

Merlin had had a good laugh over it and teased Arthur that his royal backside was obviously not meant for a day in the saddle.

"I can assure you, Merlin, that I am quite capable of a day's riding better than you who looked like a girl as you dismount." Adding, "Anyway my backside is none of your business…"

Merlin grinned back at him not in the least bothered by Arthur's not so complimentary reference to his riding ability while storing away the other remark for future use.

Brynn almost choked as he had never heard anyone make fun of the prince. He smiled at them but took it more seriously as he could, as a squire see that Arthur had overstepped the line and that Sir Romney had been right in correcting him.

As Roger watched the squires walk away and accompanied Sir Romney to the door of the monastery, he said, "Bit hard on him weren't you?"

Romney shrugged, "Better I should take him down a peg at this age than have him pull that stunt when more squires were around. Uther told me to be demanding but up to this point I have no complaints with his behaviour."

The brother who opened the door welcomed them into the monastery telling them that Brother Abbott would see them momentarily. The room they were taken into was small but comfortable, with a long refectory table and heavy wooden chairs. It was spartan and clean as would have been expected.

The Bother Abbot appeared accompanied by an older monk whom he introduced as Brother Aloysius. By the smile on his face, Romney knew that he was pleased that his escort from Camelot had arrived.

"Welcome to St. Hilda's, you do us an honour to visit our humble abode. I realise that you have been travelling since early morning so I will leave you with Brother Aloysius. The kitchen has been notified of your arrival and although our food will seem plain compared to what you are accustomed, it is healthy and sustaining. We have some quite elderly monks and they attribute their lives, to living according to our Monastery's Rules, our good food and naturally produce which the Good Lord allows us to make from our grains and hops.

Sir Romney smiled, as the Abbot left, obviously a man who appreciated the good things of nature. They had time to sit down and two monks came in with pewter bowls of vegetable stew and bread, accompanied by chunks of cheese and a pewter jug of liquid refreshment.

Brother Aloysius assured them that water was also available if they preferred. "We usually consume water except on holy days and celebrations. The income from the sales of our brewed items helps to keep the monastery going."

Sir Roger said, "Thank you Brother, but I feel that I should sample some of your monastery's ale."

"Man after my own heart!" Brother Aloysius said, sitting down beside them and pouring himself a mug. "Today, I am celebrating the beginning of my trip to visit my good friend Gaius and our benefactor King Uther of Camelot. By the way, did Gaius's apprentice not accompany you?"

"Yes, he is here but he accompanied the squires and the groom to the stables to settle our horses. He will arrive shortly," Romney explained.

They had finished their meal when Merlin was ushered in. Brother Aloysius rose to greet him and happily received the letters from Gaius and left to read them in private. Romney and Roger were shown to their rooms with Romney checking if Merlin had eaten and he was sent off to the kitchens to get something to eat. That suited him fine as Arthur and Brinn had been heading there to have something to eat with the groom who then retired to a room above the stables so he would be close to his charges. The squires and the physician's apprentice were put up in a dormitory room in the guest house. As there were the only guests they had the room to themselves. Brinn finally fell asleep leaving the other two talking quietly.

They were woken by bells at dawn and Merlin could see the candlelight spreading through the monastery as the brothers made their way to the chapel for Mass. They were finally woken by a lay brother who led them to the refectory in the guest house as he explained that the brothers always ate in silence so the knights would be joining them there.

Sir Roger and Romney soon put in an appearance and the squires served them. Arthur in his capacity as a squire insisted on serving Merlin as well, explaining that today he was a squire and Merlin after all was the court physician's apprentice but added for him not to get accustomed to his serving him. Merlin looked at him and grinned.

Romney could see that Merlin was good for Arthur, he smiled and as they ate he explained the schedule for the day, the squires would be free to explore the area but if asked by any of the monks for help they should graciously offer their services.

Brother Aloysius wanted to see Merlin privately as he had specimens that he would like to deliver to Gaius if he was not already in possession of them. Sir Romney would later in the morning deliver all the letters to the Abbott from the king and receive in return letters regarding the situation in Lesschester of the lives of the disadvantaged and sick who were cared for by the monks.

Besides praying, the monks worked with the sick and the poor. Monies collected by them went to feed and clothe unfortunate families. The monks hired locals to assist with their farm and many monasteries were known for their produce of cheese and alcoholic beverages as well as being known to offer clean accommodation and food in their guest house.

King Uther's gifts, both monetary and the actual supplies were well received as the crops in the area had been devastated by floods that season. Romney had been surprised to hear that Uther was so supportive of the monastery but he was to learn that years ago, Uther as a young man had been injured and in despair, his knights had taken him to the fledging monastery's guest house and although it had been touch and go for a time, he was healed by the physician a Brother Johannus. He had never forgotten the care he had received and always had a soft spot in his heart for St. Hilda's.

When Romney recounted this to Roger, Arthur and Brynn, he realised that Arthur had no knowledge of it. Arthur later told Merlin adding cryptically, "Who knew it, my father actually has a heart!' As he said it, he had a feeling that that was privileged information and had no idea where it came from.

Merlin said, "Your father has done some very good things, he protects the people of Camelot and is well respected by his equals."

"…and can be a real bastard!" Arthur had added.

"Well, you will have to rectify that during your reign by being not only protective but supportive as well as charming the pants off everyone."

Arthur lifted his eyebrows and said with a smile, " Good heavens, Merlin, I hope that you don't mean that literally?"

Blushing slightly, Merlin managed to stutter, "…no figuratively, I assure you." Merlin knew Arthur had been teasing him and he was surprised at how flustered he had become. There was something about Arthur when he looked at him in a certain way that made his knees feel wobbly and he couldn't think straight.

-0-0-

It had been decided that that evening, the knights would eat with the monks as they celebrated Brother Aloysius' departure and King Arthur's generosity. There would be beer and ale available and as it was a special meal, meat would be included and the rule of silence not enforced.

The squires and Merlin would eat at the guest house and be ready early the following morning to attend Mass as the Abbot prayed for a safe return to Camelot of the little group along with Brother Aloysius and Brother Anselme.

-0-0-

Finally, the horses were ready and everyone was mounted the Abbot blessed them and said, "God go with you!" and the riders left the monastery for the road to Hillsley.

The first day's ride was easy and the monks managed well with their new mounts. Brother Anselme was a chatterbox and entertained Merlin with his tales of life working in the almshouse and rudimentary hospital. He was also one of the physician's assistants but a minor one he assured him.

Suddenly, Merlin was conscious of the silence of the woods. He knew they were no longer alone and hoped that whomever it might be had no intention of attacking the group. Romney glanced at Roger and mouthed, "Keep riding, maybe they will let us by without any trouble."

The group rode forward in silence for a while and then the birds were singing again and whatever they had ridden through was over.

When they stopped for lunch, they discussed the silence and the overbearing feeling in the forest. Roger remarked, "I felt quite confident as surely with the monks we had God on our side…mind you, if we had a full complement of guards, I'm sure Sir Romney would have ordered us to give chase."

They were sitting beside a stream and eating a lunch provided by the monastery cooks. There was plenty to go round. The adults sat and talked as Merlin and the squires went to explore the sides of the stream looking for anything of interest.

Suddenly, Brynn who was further upstream than them called, "Hey, I think I've found a body!"

Not that that was anything really out of the ordinary but it was when he added, "He's still alive…" at that Merlin sprang into action and told Arthur, well really ordered him to return to get Romney and ran after Brynn.

It was the body of a child caught in the weeds of the stream, with its legs moving restlessly in the current. It was lying half in and half out of the water. Merlin searched for and found a weak pulse. Brynn gallantly waded into the stream to disentangle the legs and by then, Romney and Arthur had returned. They slid the body up the bank and turned it on its side.

"He's so cold," Arthur said as he tried to warm the kid's hand by rubbing it. "Who do you think he belongs to?" Again his mind took over and he has flashes of being looked after by strangers far away from trees and stone castle walls.

Merlin realised that the top half of the boy was dry and from the thighs down his clothes were sodden. Had to tried to climb out of the stream and the weeds had caught and held his legs and how long had he been there? Time enough for the clothes on his upper body to dry, he reckoned.

"Is he going to live?" Arthur wanted to know. Merlin felt that his chances were pretty slim but as Sir Romney was there he should be answering that question.

"I don't know but we can give him a chance by getting him back to the others and letting Brother Aloysius look at him." Standing up, the knight then bent over and grasped the boy in his arms and set out along the stream with the other three following quietly behind.

As the monk physician checked the patient, Brynn pulled off his own boots and emptied the water out of them. Brother Anselme offered him some cloths and told him to dry his feet and then the inside of his boots as it was no use getting cold. Realising that they would be there for some time, Merlin gathered some kindling and started a fire telling Brynn to keep his feet close to it. He then went off with Arthur to collect larger pieces of wood to build it up.

When they were away from the others, Arthur said, "How did you know he was alive?"

"Gaius showed me how to search for a pulse, give me your hand," Arthur did so, "See these lines on the inside of your wrist that is where the blood flows and if you keep quiet and touch them gently you can feel them jump as the heart beats.

"Now, I couldn't feel anything there, so I went closer to his heart at a point in his neck. Give me you finger." He placed Arthur's finger on the pulse in his neck and smiled as Arthur's eyes caught his as he felt the jumping sensation. "That means that my heart is beating strongly and that I am alive," Merlin explained.

"Is there any other way?"

"Yes, you could put your hand over the heart and gently push you fingers in and you should be able to find the pulse there as well and…on the thigh near the groin." Merlin for a split second wondered if Arthur would want to check out all the points but he seemed satisfied with the information.

"Can I do it to myself?" Arthur said with his fingers against his own neck.

"Yes!" Merlin said, as he took Arthur's finger redirecting it to the large pulse under Arthur's own jaw.

"And to others?"

"You can…but be careful that you are feeling the other person's pulse and not your own. Didn't you learn this when you were with the other squires during your first aid lessons?"

"Guess I wasn't listening…" Arthur said. "I understand it more easily from your explanations."

They had plenty of wood and they returned to the others. Brother Aloysius was still with the boy and Merlin offered to watch him to give him a break. The boy was breathing shallowly and every now and again shuddered. Arthur walked over and when he saw Merlin going to take off his jacket to cover him, he offered him instead the use of his cloak.

Merlin smiled up at him and Arthur felt as if he had received a reward for such a simple act of sharing. He sat down beside Merlin and kept him company. They listened to the rasping breathing and froze when the rhythm was interrupted. There was no need to speak and he was satisfied by the nearness of Merlin that was until he was called away by Sir Romney.

It had been decided by Romney and Roger that they should continue their trip as they wanted to reach the others before they started to worry. The guards would take turns carrying the boy on the front of their saddles and Brother Aloysius agreed to that plan insisting that he would ride beside whichever guard was carrying the boy.

They started out slowly but the motion of the cantering horse and the encircling arms did not seem to impede the boy's ability to breathe so they continued and by nightfall had reached a cluster of cottages.

Villagers were always willing to share their abodes with paying guests and their eyes lit up as they saw knights and squires. The monks would be housed free because the villages knew that if they were ever in need, they could turn to the monks for a meal and a roof over their heads. As it was they need not have worried as Sir Roger assured them that they would be willing to pay for each adult who was offered accommodation. The villages knew when to accept a windfall and they happily gave up not only their own beds but those of their elderly parents to see that the four adults had a warm roof over their heads.

The fact that they were accompanied by a sick child was a slight problem. They would have preferred that he had been left outside the village but once Brother Aloysius had explained that he was the victim of a near drowning and of no threat to their own youngsters, they welcomed the child as well.

As it was, there was room for the knights and the monks including the boy but the guards, groom, squires and Merlin were not as lucky. The guards and groom set up a camp near where the horses were tied out and the other three were offered an old hay shed. It smelled primarily of sheep but they were all tired and after having finished what the cook had sent with the monks, they bedded down in the hay.

-0-0-

Merlin knowing his position in life, waited for the two squires to choose where they would sleep before settling against an outer wall. The moon was up and he could see the patterns it made in the hay through the ill-fitted planks of the door and parts of the wall. He dug into the hay to make sure that he would not be disturbed by drafts, they were nothing he could do about the regular residents of the shed. He'd seen a rat watching him from one of the rafters and even when he was lying down was conscious of the rustlings of the non-human and original residents of the shed. Their host's son had insisted on turfing out their three sheep but they were not alone by any means. He smiled it could have been worse, they could have been joined by the various youngsters whose beds had been taken over by their parents.

Before he fell asleep he wondered how the young lad was doing, 'Surely someone must have been missing him?' He pulled his collar up around his neck and tried to find the stalk of hay which was itching his back with no success. Finally, he left asleep…

Arthur had also burrowed into the hay, he had spent worse nights as at least he was dry and warm. The hay made a comfortable bed and by tomorrow they would be back in Hillsley. He could hear Brynn sneeze every so often and he smiled, he wasn't doing it to gain attention as one of the squire masters had once insinuated but because dried grasses made him sneeze.

He knew that Merlin was safe in the corner and smiled glad that Romney had told Merlin to sleep with them and not outside with the groom and the two guards. He was just drifted off when he was awakened by an horrendous scream. He sat bolt upright and just caught movement in the far end of the shed.

He heard Brynn say, "Relax, Arthur, it's just a barn owl making sure that he has food for his wife and nestlings."

"Not at this time of year, it's just doing it to unnerve me, I hate that sound. I feel sure the devils themselves are after me. It shouldn't be allowed."

Merlin joined it saying, "Yes, but if they weren't around to keep down the vermin, the place would be overrun by mice and rats. The crops would suffer and people would go hungry. We have to accept that owls have their place in our lives."

"Well, not in mine when I have just fallen asleep!" Arthur insisted making Merlin and Brynn laugh.

"Not to worry," Brynn added, "when you become king you can ban all owls and then live to regret it as your kingdom will be overcome with mice and every time you got out of bed during the night, they'll run over your feet!"

Arthur pulled his knees up to his chest and muttered, "Did I ever tell you, that you are not my favourite squire?" Brynn just laughed at him.

Merlin lay there smiling, he liked owls, probably because he had an affiliation to them through his name.

Silence settled on the hay shed and Merlin once again heard the owl but Arthur must have been deep in dreamland as he didn't stir.

-0-0-

_He's caught under a clapper bridge and hanging on for dear life. He sees the monks approaching and tries to call to them but his throat is raw and he knows they will never hear him with the flat stones overhead. He does the only thing he can, he lets go of the stone uprights and floats into midstream hoping that someone will notice him before he goes too far and reaches the weir._

_He feels himself being swept into a whirlpool and he know his chances are slim. He can now hear the monks chanting the Dies iraes for the deceased and tries to open his eyes but his head is covered._

_He gives a final gasp and prepares to relinquish his soul…_

_Someone is hanging onto his hand, tears start to stream down his face and he hears a most welcoming voice say, "Arthur, wake up, it's me Merlin I have you…_


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5 : A BROKEN LEGGED BOAR**

Arthur opened his eyes to a vivid whiteness, he squeezed his eyes shut it was too bright, no clouds...no sun just emptiness and white. There were voices he couldn't place and a continual humming and beeping, yet someone held his hand. Frightened he kept his eyes shut and tried to breathe. Once his heart had slowed down, he opened his eyes a slit and saw the underside of a roughly thatched roof...he sighed, to begin with, he had obviously been half asleep.

The early sun was coming in a badly fitted door. He felt the hay under his right hand and he remembered. He stretched and realised that he was not alone. There was a body on his left. He then realised that his hand was imprisoned not brutally as in chained but clasped as in held carefully. He turned and immediately recognised the dark hair. A frown creased his face as he remembered that he'd been woken from a bad dream when someone had spoken to him, his mind relaxed and he smiled, it had been Merlin. He looked at his hand and saw that it was doubly clasped and held close to Merlin's chest.

He sneaked a peak at Brynn who was still fast asleep. He turned back to look at Merlin, who was now smiling and had his eyes wide open.

"Good morning, Arthur, did you sleep well?" he asked quietly.

Arthur nodded his head unwilling to trust his voice; however finally answering, "You saved me when I felt that I was drowning…I felt a hand and heard a voice..."

"I realised you were stressed out," Merlin said, "and I hoped that in taking your hand, it would give you hope but not bring you back to reality too quickly and it didn't. You just held on tightly and then your breathing levelled out and you fell into an untroubled sleep. But I couldn't get my hand back as you were hanging on for dear life...and somehow it felt…" he smiled softly saying, "…right!" He took Arthur's hand and brushed his lips against it. Arthur felt his heart quicken and then Merlin disentangled his hands and sat up.

"Stay a little longer..."

Merlin smiled and said cheekily, "I don't want to overstay my welcome," before adding more seriously, "and Brother Aloysius might need help with the boy. By the light outside it's still early, get a little more sleep..."

And with that he was gone. Arthur no longer found the hay such comfortable bedding and his mind was full of unanswered questions. He couldn't remember the dream but he knew that he had been in a bad way and that it was Merlin who was staying with him and keeping him alive and his overall feeling was one of satisfaction and happiness.

When Brynn and he met up with Merlin outside the cottages it was to learn that the young lad whom they'd pulled from the river had died overnight. Arthur was shocked as Merlin had been helping the boy. What had happened?

The guards were out with the village headman's son checking a place in the woods where the lad's body could be buried. The young man took them half way up a hill where there was a deepish depression in the land explaining that they used it for a burial ground. The guards nodded and went back down to tell Sir Romney.

The guard who had carried the boy in front of him on his horse carried his body into the woods and up the hill. The others followed and Brother Aloysius entrusted the boy's soul to God's mercy. Then they used leaves, soil, branches and rocks to cover the new burial site. Although Romney had told the squires they could return to the cottages, Arthur and Brynn had stayed and helped the others. Arthur was later to say that it had seemed the right thing to do as he was being buried without his parents' knowledge and he deserved mourners even though his life had been short.

When they were ready to leave, Brother Anselme stepped forward and wedged a rustic cross made of two branches into a nearby tree as a sign that this was sacred ground dedicated to the memories of the dead.

Sir Roger settled with the cottage owners who had put up the knights and the monks and to the farewells of "Yur welcome ta stay, next time yur in the area!" ringing in their ears, they set out for Hillsley.

Romney grinned at Roger saying, "It's marvellous how welcoming the people can become when there is a willingness for us to part with coins, isn't it?"

-0-0-

The ten riders returned to the road, they had no hope of making up the time but if the people in the two villages they were returning to had agreed upon peaceful coexistence, the need to stay around longer than just overnight would be unnecessary and they would be able to return to Camelot. The horses were in fine form as the last two days had been easy on them. They were full of life and quite willing to canter for long stretches. The terrain was good and the weather cooperated.

They stopped to water the horses at a river on the outskirts of a farming community and a local walking by notified them that if they'd like he could arrange for them to have something to eat. "Nothin' special like but we duz make good ale and my missus is a fair baker."

Romney thanked him and accepted his offer. As the man left, he turned to Arthur who was beside him and said, "I could do with a cool ale right now and I'm certain that there might even be a mouthful or two for you and Brynn."

"What can I do to repay your generosity?" Arthur said good naturedly with a grin before adding more seriously,"You know the boy we buried, do you think that his parents will even find out what happened to him?"

"Arthur, we don't know if he was stolen from his family or if he ran away? It's one of those sadly unsolved pieces of human life. Try not to worry about him. We did the best we could and the monks will remember him even if no one else does."

Nodding Arthur felt slightly guilty as it wasn't the boy he was thinking about but what might happen if Merlin ever went missing and he was never able to find out where he was living or if he was even alive. He was almost a knight; yet he had never felt so close to anyone his own age. Yes, he had his friends like Piers but there was something different about the way he felt toward Merlin.

Suddenly, he realised that Romney was still speaking and he hadn't a clue what he was talking about. He decided to look interested and hopefully before the conversation petered out, he would have picked up a general idea of what it was all about.

The horses watered, the riders made their way to a cluster of cottages and the man who had spoken to them was there with his son and he handed out tankards of ale to all the adults.

The guards and the groom, took theirs and sat beneath a tree while the knights and the monks stood around talking. The squires were holding the horses and Merlin joined them.

The wife of the man who had offered to feed them came out with some bread, cheese and surprisingly sausage. The monks were happy to partake of the bread and cheese, while the knights were happy to taste the local sausage which Roger said he felt sure was pork. He was proved correct as the husband told a long roundabout story of a wild boar which had fallen into a gully and was unable to get out as it had broken its front leg so the locals had decided it should be killed and shared as, the good knights would understand that it would have been wasteful just letting it starve to death.

Romney nodded his head seriously, yet wondered if such a gully even existed and if the boar was maybe the trophy of a fortuitous hunting expedition. He didn't care one way or the other as even though all forests were considered the king's hunting reserves, Uther was hardly likely to decide to travel so far for a day's hunting when the forests and woods around Camelot were teeming with game.

Once everyone had been fed and was mounted, Sir Roger who was the 'keeper of the purse' for this expedition, gave the husband a silver coin for the food and ale consumed, as well as the extra pork pies which the wife had packed up for them. After wishing the man's wife and family a good day, he turned to ride away but not before nodding at the husband and wishing him, "Future success with your hunting!"

He joined up with Romney and laughed, "Nice couple, they made us very welcome and I took the opportunity to acknowledge our group's appreciation of his hunting prowess."

"Poor souls, probably won't be able to sleep for the next couple of months expecting a visit from a contingent of the Camelot guards questioning their renowned sausages."

Arthur had been listening and felt that when he was king he wouldn't mind sharing some of the game in his forests with the people of the area. As a youngster after hearing of a village wiped out one winter by hunger, he had told Gaius that as a king he would be willing to share the game in the forests but Gaius had had to explain that people could become greedy and even though the poor might be allowed to hunt game for their own use, there were always others who would take advantage of that and start to hunt with the motive of making money by selling on the meat at markets in the local towns. Meat which they had in effect stolen from the king.

"I still wouldn't like to see families starve to death," Arthur had insisted.

-0-0-

They rode until lack of light forced them off the road. Sir Romney apologised that they would have to camp out as even though the road was in good shape he had no intention of risking the horses by riding in the dark.

They found a comparatively flat piece of land and settled the horses, Romney had started a fire and then left it up to the squires to keep it going. The food was divided and finally everyone settled down for the night. The sky was clear and Merlin hoped that it stayed that way. Romney insisted that their guests the monks should sleep close to the fire so the squires were a little further away and Arthur worried that Merlin and the others were not going to benefit from its heat at all. Merlin was later to tell him that although they couldn't feel the heat the shadows cast were welcoming especially for the guard who was on overnight watch.

They were on the road early as they were all hungry and hoping to get something to eat at the next village they passed through. They were unlucky as the villagers had no extra food to spare but did offer them some bread and some dried apples. The monks accepted it gracefully but not one certain squire who was used to better things.

Arthur to show his disgust had pocketed his apple which was mottled and unappetising and offered it to his horse which he assured Merlin, he had to coax to eat it. Merlin shook his head, so much for being able to live off the land. If they had stopped earlier the evening before, he could have laid some snares for rabbits and done a little foraging and they would have been able to have had something substantial for breakfast.

Sir Romney promised them that once they reached the inn where they had stayed the first night on the way to the monastery, he would see that they had a proper meal before continuing into Hillsley.

Merlin had smiled and said to Arthur quietly, "Stick with me and I will show you all the wonderful things which nature can produce if you know where to look."

"But I don't want to eat just dried up berries and apples, mushrooms or roots and leaves."

Merlin smiled, "I could prepare for you a meal which people would pay handsomely to partake of especially if they were hungry." He was now riding beside Arthur and he said, "How about roast rabbit, or maybe trout with baked parsnip and fennel, an assortment of root vegetables and greens with cooked mushrooms and fruit?"

"You're just saying that to make me feel worse. My stomach is moaning as it is so deprived of food."

"Arthur, you missed exactly one meal, stop being over dramatic. Romney will see we are fed in a few hours…as the Brothers would say offer it up for the souls in purgatory."

Arthur told Merlin what he could do with the souls in purgatory and even Merlin had to laugh.

Soon to Arthur's delight one of the guards said that he recognised the road and that the Bridge Inn where they had stayed should be just up ahead. Even the horses seemed to have perked up at that information as inns were often close to farms which sometimes had farmers willings to sell oats.

Arthur and Brynn rode forward to their position behind the knights.

-0-0-

When his young son had come running it to say that there were knights on the road, the landlord had been disappointed knowing that travellers so early in the day would not be overnight guests. He quickly notified his wife and as he was a sensible man, went out with a welcoming smile on his face to greet the knights.

"Certainly, Sir Knight, we can have food on the table for you and your guests in no time. Might you in the meantime be interested in sampling some of our ale?"

Sir Romney nodded and passed his horse's bridle to Arthur saying, "See to the horses then join us in the ale room, the guards and groom will eat in the kitchen but bring Merlin in with you." He and Sir Roger accompanied by the two monks walked into the ale room leaving Brynn and Arthur with six horses. Luckily they were all well behaved and stood waiting until someone tied them up to the fence. They then became to groom's responsibility and Arthur, Brynn and Merlin headed inside.

Arthur and Brynn were technically on duty to see to the wants of their knights. They stood quietly until they were told to sit once the food appeared. It was a surprisingly large spread for such short notice. The bread had been freshly baked that morning and the slices of cold ham were plentiful as was cheese and dried fish. The landlord went all out as the chances of another large party of ten passing by were pretty slim. It was also good to try just that little harder for the knights as they remembered where they were well looked after and would be likely to return if they were ever in the area.

Roger asked Romney if he thought that the ham was from a pig which had a broken leg and had been discovered in a gully. Romney laughed and the landlord not too sure of what they were insinuating assured them it had been slaughtered by his brother the village butcher last month.

Merlin had sat with Brother Aloysius and Brother Anselme and was deep in conversation with them but when he caught Arthur's eye he smiled at him.

No one felt much like moving on after lunch but they had to if they wanted to reach Hillsley before nightfall. Roger settled with the landlord for the food and ale consumed and the supplies packed in their saddle bags in case Hillsley had no food. He told the innkeeper that next time they would hopefully arrive in time for supper and be able to enjoy an overnight stay as well as breakfast before returning to the road and the man beamed.

Arthur watched the exchange and knew that Roger was guaranteeing good service on his next visit; it made the inn owner happy and proud of his establishment and didn't cost the knight anything. It was part and parcel of representing the kingdom and doing business. He decided that it might be worth considering doing that in his own life, he didn't intend to fawn over everyone but if someone went out of his way to do something for him, it made sense to acknowledge their effort.

He decided that maybe when he got back to Camelot, he would start with his manservant by thanking him more often. Merlin was always saying thank you to people and he was usually rewarded by a smile. Arthur decided that in his short time in Camelot, Merlin was on nodding terms with more people than Arthur was who had been raised there. He smiled to himself, he didn't intend to appear a simpleton grinning at everyone but a few well placed thankyou's could hardily go amiss.

He was brought out of his reverie when Sir Romney signalled for them to 'Trot On' and he almost lost his balance as he had been miles away in Camelot.

-0-0-

Miles were covered and in the distance, they could make out the cottages of the two villages which seemed to be continually on bad terms. Sir Romney hoped that Aislin had everything organised and that they could leave the following morning to return to Camelot.

As they rode into Hillsley, Romney could tell that the atmosphere had changed, people seemed relaxed and there was a murmur of conversations between passersby. He turned and smiled at Roger, "Looks like Aislin managed to get them straightened out."

"Let's hope so as the sooner we can leave for home the better."

Romney turned and said, "Squires!" Arthur and Brynn hurried forward. They were handed the horses and rode over to the line where the other horses were being tied.

Arthur nodded at Merlin and said, "Look after yourself as I'm sure that I will not be as free to talk and hang around with you as I did before."

Feeling that the look in Merlin's eyes seemed to say that he was the one doing the looking after, Arthur was momentarily conscious of being in a narrow built up area with people in black cloaks waving what looking like scrolls. They were not frightening only different and he was curious. He was aware of rhythmic pulsing sounds and very bright orbs of flashing lights. Before he could process the feeling, Merlin was called away by a guard requesting that he check one of their group who had suffered burns and Arthur came back to the present. Merlin told him that he'd be right with him, before he grabbed his bag and followed the guard.

Arthur returned to Sir Romney who asked him to check with Sir Nigel as to the sleeping accommodations, mentioning that the monks would have preference over any of the squires.

Sir Nigel told Arthur that one of the cottages had an empty sheep shed and that all the squires had bedded down there, "With no complaints…" he added, noticing the look of dismay on Arthur's face. Arthur grinned and nodded. Sir Aislin had prepared for the monks by having a room available in one of cottages owned by an elderly couple, "Quieter and more conducive to prayer," he had added.

Laughing Arthur had said, "I assure you Brother Aloysius is not quiet, he is lively and has a great sense of humour."

"Tell, Sir Romney that he will be in the headman's home with me and Roger will have to bunk in where he can."

Romney accepted the sleeping arrangements and told Arthur and Brynn to get their saddles bags and bedrolls to wherever Aislin had said. He then told Arthur that he was free until supper time but not to go far afield as he might be needed.

…and needed he was as just as he had got his own stuff to the sheep shed, and hoped to have a long chat with Piers, James arrived to say that Sir Romney wanted him at the headman's house. "No peace for the wicked," Piers joked as Arthur scowled and went to join Sir Romney.

In retrospect, it had been quite interesting as Sir Ainslin was there as was Sir Cadmus, the two had been negotiators of the agreements between the two villages. It hadn't gone that smoothly as one man had opted to move his family back to the village of his parents. Aislin said, "I think he was one of the main troublemakers and seemed surprised when no other families stood behind him on his decision.

"On the day they finally left with their wagon packed to the hilt and their livestock following along behind, one of the oldest residents was heard to say, 'Good riddance to bad rubbish. They've been a thorn in our sides since they arrived.' Of course, there was now an empty cottage and the villagers decided that one of the younger families who were sharing with another family member should move in there. Actually once the trouble maker was gone, we have had no problems and people seem happy."

Sir Romney was pleased to hear that everything was settled and Aislin handed him the agreements which had been signed with 'X's as few people could write their own names. "I could do with an ale as I'm sure you could," Arthur heard Sir Romney say and he was about to agree when he realised that he was speaking to the two other knights not to a not-so-lowly squire…


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6 : HOMEWARD BOUND**

Supper was a celebration for villagers and visitors alike. Their problems had been settled and from the point of view of the knights no lives were lost and Sir Romney had returned with the monks. Now, escorting them back to Camelot was their priority.

Sir Romney did not get that much sleep as he went over a few things with Aislin before turning in. He had his reservations as did Aislin that the Henning Family who had left might still try to cause trouble for the villagers. He hoped not but at least when they discussed their report with the king, they would be able to tell him that they had left the area satisfied with their work as Hillsley was once again peaceful.

The squires were given time to eat and no sooner had they, than those who had accompanied the knights to the monastery were ready to turn in. Merlin joined them and they sat around in the sheep shed telling the other two squires what they had missed. James and Piers were not able to equal their exploits just saying that that had been kept busy by the four knights who had stayed in Hillsley.

Brynn mentioned the young lad they had found in the stream and who had subsequently died. Merlin looked at Arthur knowing that he felt it had been a failure on the part of their group not to have been able to save him. He smiled kindly, Arthur was going in his life to face many occasions when he would be unable to save people even if he had the best of intentions. Arthur glanced in his direction and smiled back, asking Merlin about the burned guard. Merlin was able to report that he would make a complete recovery and had been lucky because one of the other guards had eased the pain by helping the injured man to sit with his leg in the stream until the pain had diminished and then had covered it with a wet cloth.

"Gaius will have to see him when he arrives home but he should be all right and I used some of Gaius's ointment so that will also help."

"He won't be too comfortable riding though," James added.

"Well, they could get him slightly tipsy and then he wouldn't be as conscious of his leg," Piers suggested.

Merlin said, "Then he might fall off his horse and break his leg, I think he is better just suffering the pain."

Arthur again felt uncomfortable as if what Merlin had said was not in context to where they were at the moment. He shook his head wondering why things sometimes seemed so confusing. To change the subject, Arthur said, "You know, Brynn and I tasted excellent ale in the monastery. They have their own brewery. I was impressed."

Piers was quick to pick up on it saying, "What are you, Arthur, an ale aficionado all of a sudden?"

"Well, at least I know what I like! Not like you who couldn't make up your mind over a real bitter or a mild one until we hard to cart you unceremoniously up to bed. You were so lucky that everyone else was celebrating as I think you might have been drummed out of the Squires for drinking if any of the squire masters had seen us."

"I thought we agreed never to mention that episode of my 'childhood innocence' again," Piers said feigning hurt. "Luckily, I wasn't caught and I learned my lesson…" he exclaimed finally laughing.

James interrupted him by saying, "Yes, we all know, you now hate beer!"

The four squires laughed remembering the incident, giving Merlin a little glimpse of the other side of life as a squire in Camelot.

Finally Arthur yawned saying, "Although this bonding session has been good for the soul, I'm ready to turn in, 'night everyone and if any of you has to get up during the night, watch where you walk and please do not step on my legs!"

Merlin leant over once they were settled to blow out the lantern plunging everyone into darkness. It had been a luxury to use it as candles cost money and were not to be wasted. He smiled thinking of Gaius when he complained to him that he had almost measured his length on the stairs to his room and Gaius had been less that comforting when he had said that humans were not meant to be able to see in the dark and that he should be more careful in future…

-0-0-

Arthur was disturbed as someone got up early to go outside, it was still dark and he lay thinking about the last nine days. He had enjoyed himself, he'd worked hard but was pleased with the results. He had hopes that the reports from the knights would be positive and he would again be asked to participate in outings away from Camelot.

He closed his eyes and smiled to himself, Merlin being there had been a bonus. He had been pleasantly surprised when Piers had told him that he'd seen Merlin with the groom and the guards. He was not sure how much contact he would have with him but over the time, Romney had included Merlin in with the squires and they had seen more of each other. He knew that when they got back to Camelot, it would be different as Merlin would be working most of the time and he would be back in training and schooling to become a squire. He just hoped that they'd be able occasionally to bump into each other, he smiled to himself as he thought, 'Literally more than figuratively!'

He was conscious of someone coming back in and stopping near him. He opened his eyes but could only make out a figure. He recognised who it was as a voice said, "It's quiet, no one is on guard. Are you sure you don't need to go outside?"

Merlin looked down at him and waited then when he saw Arthur nod his head he leant over and gave him a hand up. They walked quietly to the doorway and slipped out. Arthur followed him to the far side of the building facing the woods and leant against an old gate post. He spoke first, "This is practically the first time that we have been alone, there was always someone else around, not that I mean that is bad but it is sort of nice to be able to speak together without interruption."

"Well, as someone in Ealdor would say, 'We're practically within spitting distance of home!' "

"This chap whoever he is must have had superior powers as it will take us at least a good two days riding to reach there."

Merlin laughed, "You know what I meant. As of tomorrow I will, according to Romney, be taking my place behind the monks but in front of the guards."

"I could ask him to let you ride with the squires again however, I have a feeling he'd say no," Arthur said making a face, "better to just accept whatever happens."

"Well, I am sort of a humble extension of Gaius and the monks are his guests so it would be my right place. They're interesting to talk to and Brother Aloysius is very knowledgeable."

"Be as it may, I'm also interesting, aren't I and I'll miss you…?"

Merlin smiled into the dark as that explained how he felt too. "We can meet up once you're home, Gaius doesn't work me twenty-four seven. If I invited you, would you consider joining us for supper if you had a free evening?"

"I certainly would but maybe that should be cleared with Gaius first. I don't know what he would think if I materialised expecting to be fed."

"That would be no problems," said Merlin, "as you could stop by the kitchens and bring your own food with you. On second thought, bring enough for the three of us."

That caused Arthur to laugh, "You've obviously been thinking about this haven't you?"

"Well, I'm pretty certain that Gaius is going to be eating frequently with our monastery guests either in their chambers or even in the dining hall. Your father will certainly have them dine with him one night and I will not be on the guest list.

"You might...as Gaius's apprentice."

"I hope not…oh, that didn't come out right, did it? As I would be honoured to dine with your father should he ask me…" Merlin petered out and Arthur laughed as he knew that was far from the truth and said so. Merlin smiled and continued, "Well, what I had meant to say was I doubt that my position at Camelot would hold much sway when a dinner guest list is draw up."

Arthur laughed, "Well said! We'll make you into a diplomat in no time. Now listen, many nights I am left eating by myself under the watchful eye of Martin. There is no reason why, if Gaius has no need for you, you couldn't accept my invitation to join me for supper."

"I would be very honoured," said Merlin with his tongue in his cheek.

Arthur picked up on it and said, "I know why I like you as you are not afraid of me. So many people creep around me and it is unnerving. I am no different to them…"

"Except in being the Future King of an all-powerful nation and having a bedchamber three times as big as any of the others in the castle!"

"Wait until you see my father's royal chambers, they are huge. You could spend your whole life in there and never feel hemmed in. He even has a private staircase leading down to the floor below to rooms which I presume would be the Queen's chambers. I once went in them with Humphrey. I have never mentioned them to my father but it would be fun having two ways to get into your chambers."

"I do!" insisted Merlin, "I can go in the door and climb out the window!"

"…and hang there until some intrepid knight comes along with ladders to rescue you." Arthur said and started to laugh.

A disembodied voice said, "Arthur?"

Arthur bit his lip and then realised it was Piers. "We're sitting here talking, I bumped into Merlin when nature called. Anyway, should be going back in now as I'm still tired. Are you on your way out or your way in, Piers?"

"On my way out," the other squire said. "You really should be getting back to sleep as the sky is lightening and we'll be on the road early according to Sir Cadmus. Bye, Merlin!" He walked off towards the trees.

Merlin stood up and immediately said, "Sorry, I kept you up, you should have said that you were tired."

"I'm not as that was a lie. I'd be happy to stay out here until the sun comes up as long as you're with me. If I don't get a chance to talk to you privately again, remember I was serious about your joining me for supper. Anyway, you know where I live…" he laughed, "as I do you and if necessary I'll send a page with a message."

They turned and walked back around the sheep shed and just before they went through the opening that stood for a door, Arthur whispered, "Now, I'll try to stop thinking about you so I can get some sleep…"

"Me as well…" a voice in the grey darkness responded.

-0-0-

True to what Sir Cadmus had told Piers, they were woken up early and had eaten, got the horses sorted and were on the road before the morning fog had lifted. They were all glad to be back on the road especially the guards who had been superfluous as there had not been any fighting but as one of the detachment mentioned maybe their presence had been enough to have a calming effect.

Sir Romney lead with Sir Aislin so Arthur rode with James after the other knights and their respective squires. He had glanced around hoping to see Merlin as he knew that he would be with the monks but as they were riding after the guards they were some distance back. They rode until mid-morning when Romney called a halt at a ford and the horses were watered and the riders got off the stretch their legs. Brynn and Arthur laughed at the other squires as they were stiff after having spent less time in the saddle over the last five days.

Romney had no intention of pushing the horses, if they covered ten miles before a break that suited him as he knew that the next ten miles would be hilly terrain and less distance would be covered. He intended to camp in the abandoned village as they had on their first day out of Camelot.

He'd laughed when Aislin said, "I felt sure last night when I went to bed that I was not sleeping alone."

Romney kidded him saying, "Better not let you fair Lady Wife hear you say that as she will be banning you from her bed."

Aislin laughed out loud and the others knights who were not in on the conversation smiled as obviously something amusing had been said. "No, I'm true to my wife, it's just that I'm sure the mattress was alive, as I woke up covered in bites and they itched like mad. Vicious little things a lot worse that what we encounter at home."

Romney pretended to be shocked and pulled Gilpin away from Aislin and his horse. Then he laughed, "Better give all your clothes a good shake and have some lavender oil sprinkled in your bed. Heard that that helps. Luckily your wife didn't accompany us on the trip as she would be less than happy with you. Bedbugs and fleas are one of the not so happy occurrences of sleeping in stranger's homes, or to think of it, inns." He laughed as he added, "I think the older you get the more annoying it is. My youngest seems to attract them but as he sleeps with our old hound both of them are probably crawling alive. Mind you, I wouldn't say that to my wife or Bonz would be turfed out."

"I remember as a kid watching a flea jump from the kitchen cat onto a serving maid," Aislin added, "and thinking it was funny."

There were approaching an inn and Romney made a sign for everyone to halt. The inn was often frequented by knights and the meals though not wonderful, were plentiful and hot. There was also shade for the horses and the ale was good enough after their hilly climb.

The innkeeper and his staff had seen the group arriving and his family met the knights with tankards of ale. The horses were handed over to the squires and the knights stood around drinking until they were told that a meal was ready for them. The guards had their own supplies and set up across from the inn. Arthur smiled as he saw Merlin go into the inn accompanying Brothers Aloysius and Anselme. The squires ate outside on the ground.

"Have you run across any illness?" The innkeeper wanted to know of Romney, "We had merchants in yesterday who said that Shadford, South of here, has been hit by sickness and it is very hard on children and the elderly."

Romney explained that the majority of his group had been no further east than Hillsley but that a few of them went as far north as Lesschester and had heard no rumours of illness. "We are travelling with two monks and they haven't mentioned any illness in their area and they would have heard about problems as they deal with the sick all year."

The mortality rates for children was always high and Aislin noticed that Sir Rook looked worried as his wife was with child and Gaius had mentioned twins which meant that both of the babies would be small and at greater risk.

Merlin's ears caught the gist of the conversation and hoped that they were not carrying something back to Camelot or going to return to find the castle besieged by illness.

Brother Aloysius noticed his concern and said quietly, "Brother Anselme and I will pray for your people and also offer our help to Gaius if needs be."

"Thank you, Brother, Gaius has a healthy respect for travellers bringing illness with them and in the times of great sickness, has the guards stop people who are obviously not well and send them directly to his chambers so he can make sure they are not carrying something that will spread like wildfire."

"Gaius is a very sensible man and a brilliant physician, I know that we can trust that he will do the best he possibly can to protect Camelot."

Soon Sir Romney was motioning for Arthur to get the horses. The guards were all mounted and after Sir Roger had settled with the innkeeper who wished them a safe journey, they were once again on the road. Their evening meal would consist of bread, cheese and a couple of chickens which they had managed to purchase in the little village.

-0-0-

Within three hours they approached the abandoned village. The guards set up camp in the woods and the knights claimed the more intact buildings. Arthur could have sworn that if anything it looked more rundown than it had ten days ago.

Space in one of the cottages which the knights had claimed, as it still had remnants of a roof, was limited, therefore only the monks were invited to join them. It was a squeeze but with the threatening storm clouds better than what was on offer for the squires whom Merlin had been told to join.

The squires returned to where they had slept the first night but it wasn't suitable for all of them should it rain. They could sleep in the woods and rely on shelter from the trees but Brynn suggested dividing into two groups to make the best of what was on offer in the derelict buildings. So they did.

James managed to find a suitable corner in one of the cottages that had not only a half timbered roof but three walls, the covered area was rectangular and large enough for possibly three people. Arthur could see that it was going to be too small for five so he said, "Why don't you three stay here and Merlin and I will search around while it's still light, for somewhere for the two of us."

Piers said, "Arthur, are you sure? You can have my space and I can find something with Merlin."

Answering maybe a little too fast, Arthur said, "I can manage fine, look at all these ruins it won't be hard to find somewhere."

Brynn offered to help them search but Merlin suggested that they should use the time to put fir boughs on the dirt floor. "It will be softer to lie on and keep you out of any puddles if it does rain."

Sir Rook smiled as he saw the three squires dragging fir boughs into the cottage they had chosen. He was impressed with their initiative. They'd been told not to mollycoddle the squires but he wasn't too happy with them not having adequate cover and waking up in sodden clothes.

"Should we also get boughs?" Arthur asked.

Merlin grinned and said, "Not yet! Follow me. Do you remember that I slept out with the grooms the last time we were here. Well, I was up early and did a little exploring and found something quite interesting."

"A cottage that is weather tight?"

"Not, a cottage exactly a small cave! Dry as a bone and just up beyond those rocks. It's small but in a pinch the five of us could scrunch in there. There is also a stream nearby."

Arthur turned and said, "Maybe we should tell the others…or maybe we shouldn't, just keep it for ourselves. They will be fine in that little area and you did remind them about the boughs." He kicked at a tuft of grass and said hesitantly, "What do you think?"

"Well, unaccustomed as I am to making decisions of such magnitude…" he smiled softly at Arthur and said, "...I think that we should keep it to ourselves."

"I agree, an unanimous decision, let's find this cave of yours." He grabbed Merlin's hand and pulled him in the direction to which he had originally nodded.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7 : A CAVE TO THE RESCUE**

Merlin found the location without any trouble. It was halfway up a hill near one of the abandoned cottages and you had to part the bushes to get inside the mouth of the cave. Arthur was surprised at the depth of it but realised that you would actually have to crawl on all fours to reach the back. The main area must have been the height at the withers of one of Camelot's destriers and two horses could have been tethered across it. It was dry and for the moment in the opposite direction of the prevailing wind.

"Do you think there are any other caves?" Arthur asked.

"Why? Is this one not to your liking?"

Arthur shook his head, "No, it's perfect for us."

"There very well could be others but I think this one is close enough to the others and if they yell for us, we would be able to hear them yet not give away our hiding place."

"Do we need fir boughs?"

"Well, not for any puddles but it makes a softer bed not as good as a mattress but better that the hard ground. It also is smells lovely."

"Shame there is no sand, I always think that would make a comfortable bed," Arthur said as the two of them went to get branches before any rain started.

"Not always, I remember one year going to stay with my mother's friend Missus Keller and as kids we spent days at the beach, playing in and out of the waves and rolling on the sand and we all came back covered in bites. Mister Keller said that they were from the sand fleas."

Arthur smiled as he realised he was thinking how nice it would have been to spend a day at the seaside with Merlin.

They were sitting at the mouth of the cave talking quietly when Merlin suddenly put his hand on Arthur's arm and said, "Listen!"

Arthur did but couldn't hear anything and then five minutes later he was conscious of the rumbling of thunder. "Good thing we brought in the boughs and our bedrolls. Do you think that we will have any visitors during the night?"

"Who knows? None of the human variety but we could have company such as rodents…"

"…or a wild boar?" Arthur added hoping that Merlin was going to reassure him otherwise.

"I doubt that as there was no scent of a boar in here and one wouldn't join us as it would smell us first. Old man Bax in Ealdor found a wild piglet one spring. It was tiny and starving so he took it home carrying it in his jacket. His intention was to grow it to marketable size and make some money but his kids were against that as they had already named it Grunter and had decided that it would make a great pet."

Arthur was conscious of the rain as it hit the leaves on the trees outside the cave. They moved further away from the opening and sat down again. "So what happened?" Arthur asked.

"What happened to what?" Merlin said.

"The piglet?"

"I don't know as it must have been only a year old when I left to join Gaius in Camelot."

"Do you think it will be killed for food?"

"Doubt it as I'm sure that when it reaches the age when wild boars start to get interested in sows," Merlin nudged Arthur in the side, "it will wander off into the woods to scavenge and never come back." Seeing the sad look on Arthur's face, he added with a laugh, "Probably find a beautiful young sow and decide to say goodbye to village life and choose to live with her forever in the woods, having lots of babies and remembering fondly Old Man Bax and his kids!"

Even Arthur had to laugh at the fairytale ending and he added, "And, everyone lived happy ever after?"

Merlin nodded before standing up and walking back towards the boughs upon which they had put their bedrolls saying, "If you need to go, you should go now as later on it will be really dark and you might go out and get lost and some kindly soul will pick you up to take you home to fatten you up for the market!"

"Let them try!" Arthur said laughing, however he did wander outside as nature called. He could hear the muted voices of the guards and see the flames from their fires. He tried to pick out the cottages but they were lost in the darkness. He was suddenly conscious of something flying at him and ducked, laughing quietly when he realised it was a bird trying to find a dry place to perch. He turned walking back to the cave and was thankful for the dry enclosed place which Merlin had found for the two of them.

They set up their bedrolls, closer to the back as the wind was acting up and the ground around the mouth of the cave was now wet. "It won't reach us unless the rain falls horizontally," Merlin insisted.

The big mound of fir boughs was springy and Arthur in giving Melin plenty of space almost slid off the side and Merlin laughed grabbing him and pulling him closer to the middle saying, "Do that in the middle of the night and you might hit the rock face and the others will think we had a fight or something. Don't worry if you roll into me as I'll just push you back where you belong."

Talking about lying so close together had Arthur wanting to reply, 'Maybe _that is _where I belong!' but he refrained.

The scent of the fir and the pitter-pattering of the rain on the leaves, was relaxing and in no time, the two of them were asleep. Arthur woke later to a body curled into his but once he remembered with whom he was, he smiled softly shifting even closer and went back to sleep.

He was awoken by an iron grip on his arm and Merlin whispering, "Quiet!"

He listened and could hear the sound of a large animal thrashing around in the woods. The two of them froze. Arthur's imagination was playing havoc and he could almost see one of the huge bears from a book which Gaius had. He listened but there was no snuffling or grunting.

He lay quietly beside Merlin fearing the worst but Merlin raised his head and then after a while lay back and whispered, "My guess is that it is a call of nature on the part of a guard, keep quiet and stay still."

Once Merlin had identified the noise Arthur could envision the man having left his camp to find somewhere private. He listened as the intruder still wandered around and then stopped, there was fumbling of clothes and the sound of a steady stream. The man gave a grunt and then wandered away as noisily as he had approached.

Arthur by then was trying to contain himself. As the footsteps receded he turned in Merlin's direction laughing and said quietly, "I thought he was going to come right in here and piss over us. Let's hope that he is the only one on a nightly outing, as I was so nice and warm and enjoying my sleep."

"I think we still have a few hours to ourselves," Merlin said settling on his bedroll and curled back into Arthur. Arthur smiled into the darkness and turned slightly so that his arm could clasp Merlin to him.

Merlin said, "Goodnight, Arthur, sleep tight!"

Arthur lay there holding Merlin until he fell asleep. Merlin woke up later as an owl announced to the world that it had been successful in its hunt. Arthur was still facing him and he tentatively reached up and touched his face before snuggling his head under his chin.

It felt right. He had seen kittens and puppies snuggling together and even Missus Curdy's twins but he had never thought of his doing the same thing and the utter pleasure it gave him in having Arthur's arms around him was something he had never imagined. His mother had held him on numerous occasions, it had been lovely as he felt so safe but there was a different feeling when Arthur held him. Now that he had experienced it, he knew that it was special, not something to be forgotten. Two people with absolute trust in each other, demanding nothing just enjoying each other's nearness.

He let his mind go back to the bitter winter nights in Ealdor when mothers would have their children share their beds as they worried that during the night disaster might strike and they would in the morning wake up to one less child. Many packed the kids into the bed and then spent the night themselves huddled in front of the fire. Awful things happened in the winter, children who during the summer were free to come and go at will were reined in. A little boy in his village had wandered off after he had been put to bed with his siblings and no one noticed until morning when he was not there. He was found later outside the neighbour's door, with his hands bloodied from banging on the stones trying to get their attention. He was frozen solid and no amount of hugging by his mother in front of the fire could bring him round. It was hard managing to get through the winter, without having to face guilt for the loss of a child.

Merlin shivered involuntarily. He didn't want his mind to dwell on things like that as at his age he had seen enough death to last him a lifetime. He tried to clear his mind and settle back to sleep, he smiled. He felt safe and appreciated. Not that he hadn't experienced those feelings before but this time they were more intense.

-0-0-

_He just needs to get to the bridge then he will see the first house in the village. He has misjudged his time at the market but he had so wanted to sell all the salves and elixirs which his mother had made. He tries to jog but his feet are cold and the ruts in the road are very pronounced and there is ice. His mother will be getting worried as she hadn't wanted him to go but he had promised to be back before dusk. He's running late because he had taken time to warm himself up in the kitchen of the inn, eating the gruel which the landlady had given him. He would have been home by now if he had not stopped to deliver special medicine for the innkeeper._

_His face is beginning to burn especially his cheeks, ears and nose. He tightens the scarf which he is wearing over his head. It seems that the sounds of the woods are magnified yet he cannot identify any of them, he decides to take a shortcut which he uses during summer and at least gets out of the wind._

_His mind is telling him to take a rest, to crawl into a little ball close to one of the big oak trees and to take off his boots and warm his feet but something forces him on. He stumbles and falls and the idea of staying down is predominant in his mind but he ignores it and scrambles up realising that his knees are now aching and he can't feel his feet._

_He keeps trudging along and finally sees a light, not from a cottage but from a rushlight, he wants to get closer as he imagines its warmth and feels sure that he can smell the burning grease. He cannot reach it, it just keeps within sight and seems to be floating in the air. He feels better, no longer alone even though the entity he is following is unknown._

_He remembers the tales of people getting lost and falling from cliffs because they followed imaginary lights but he knows that this light is not evil, it represents the future. If it gets him to the bridge, he will be home free._

_Suddenly he hears the rushing water and he knows that just up the hill is the old bridge, the light is still with him and as he reaches the abutment to the bridge it flickers three times and is gone. He is not afraid and thanks whatever power got him here._

_He finally sees his house with a candle burning in the window and he walks towards it, the door opens and his Mam steps out and says, "Son, I was worried!"_

_Merlin takes a deep breath and says, "I'm sorry…!" as he stumbles into the cottage. He tries to explain but he's exhausted and starts to sob, his mother reaches out for him and without asking any questions holds him until he regains control._

-0-0-

His sobbing woke Arthur who looked at him and realising that he was upset, gently pushed, the hair off his forehead saying, "You're safe, Merlin, I have you and I intend to always keep you with me regardless of what difficulties we will face."

"I frightened her…I put her through hell, Arthur, because I had wanted to warm up and eat before setting out."

"But she forgave you…once she saw you she must have forgotten some of the pain."

"Yes, but you didn't see the look on her face, I think she had relived all the stories of villagers and children getting lost during the winter and never showing up again. Life can be cruel and sometimes we are the reason for such cruelty even though it is done in all ignorance. I love her and never meant to hurt her."

"She knows that! Now, come here, try to get some sleep and I'll watch over you until daybreak comes."

Arthur had the best of intentions but shortly after Merlin's breathing settled and he realised he was asleep, sleep overcame him as well and he realised as he dropped off that their life experiences were very different but decided that might prove interesting and actually be good.

-0-0-

Merlin was conscious of the camp stirring as he heard the horses happily announce that the groom was checking on them prior to their being watered and then fed. Apart from guards who were on watch, the grooms always seemed to be the first people up and often the last to retire.

He disentangled himself from Arthur as gently as possible allowing him to benefit from a few more minutes sleep. He went outside feeling foolish at having awakened Arthur by crying over something which had happened years ago. He thought that Arthur hadn't been unduly annoyed and he smiled remembering feeling secure in his arms.

Brynn saw him and called to him that Romney wanted Arthur, so he went back to the cave to give him the message. Arthur was at least on his feet stretching complaining that he must have been sleeping on a pine cone as he had a crick in his back.

"By the time you get down to where Romney is, it will be all gone that is unless you would like me to give you a little massage."

"Would you?" Arthur said looking rather pleased.

"Not now but if it persists I can arrange for Gaius to look at you. He is really good with muscles and nerves."

Arthur looking slightly deflated said, "I think I'll pass on Gaius. He once massaged my shoulder and it felt as if his fingers were actually inside my skin."

"Maybe…however did he relieve the pain?"

Arthur nodded, "But the treatment was worse than the original ailment!"

"Ah, diddums!" Merlin said showing no sympathy and moving out of Arthur's reach. "Anyway, Sir Romney wants to see you so I'll bring down the bedrolls."

Arthur reached the knights to find out that a messenger had arrived from Camelot advising them that there was illness in the region and if they were all well to return directly to the castle.

Romney told Arthur to eat something as Sir Nigel and Sir Rook with two squires were to return to Camelot immediately with a letter for the king. The horses were being saddled and they would leave once the knights had broken their fast. "You and James, get your bedrolls and the horses and wait here for the knights."

Arthur went back to the cave and met Merlin on his way down with the bedrolls. "James and I are returning to Camelot ahead of everyone else. There is illness in the area and the king wants us back as soon as possible. I figure if we ride steadily we should be there just after noon as we are to leave as soon as the knights have broken their fast. Thanks for last night. It was an excellent place to camp. Maybe we could do it again…" then not wanting Merlin to feel that as crown prince he was ordering him to do something, he added, "That is, Merlin, if you would like to…"

"I think that would be fun. Just think, on my travels to find herbs for Gaius I could make a note of any caves or abandoned cottages where we could have a couple of hours to ourselves. And should that prove impractical, you could suss out the empty chambers in the castle and we could have our own private areas to which we could invite our friends if we ever wanted to…or not…" Merlin added smiling.

Arthur made a face at that proposal adding, "I thought it was going to be just you and me?"

"Could be, that is entirely up to you."

"It would be great in the castle as we could have servants bring us up food and keep the place tidy."

"Arthur, if this is supposed to be a secret hideaway, how can you have servants coming and going. That isn't going to work"

They were interrupted by Piers saying, "What isn't going to work?"

Merlin kept quiet and Arthur mumbled something about having the senior pages, train with the squires.

"Of course that won't work!" Piers said, "Half of them are still tied to their nursemaids' apron strings and not grown up enough to compete with us. Are they, Arthur?"

Arthur nodded and was pleased to see Romney approaching with two packed saddle bags and a reminder to fill the water skins.

Joined by the knights, James and he mounted their horses and left the abandoned village for Camelot and for Arthur the prospect of a hot bath, a good meal and comfy bed.

-0-0-

Arthur rode out with Sir Rook and James with Sir Nigel who was young, just completing fifteen months as a knight. He was well liked and treated the squires fairly. He was level-headed and had the makings of an excellent knight and mentor for squires.

The messenger returned with them. They set off at a steady canter and kept it up for half an hour until they reached the hillier terrain. They gave the horses a little break and then faced the hills, cantering on the more or less level parts, trotting on the inclines, walking up the steeper inclines and in some places dismounting to give their horses a break on the trickier areas. The horses seemed to have realised they were on the homeward stretch and went willingly but Rook had no intention of returning early with exhausted horses so he set a sensible speed.

Romney had told them to take the shortest route and that meant using old roads and not the Roman roads. Once the land levelled out again, they rested the horses near a stream. They took a break themselves and ate the bread and cheese which had been packed for them.

Arthur could imagine the lunch that the squires were having in Camelot and although he was enjoying the time he was spending on the road, he wouldn't have minded dropping into the dining hall for a short time to join them.

Soon the horses picked up speed as they recognised landmarks. The riders had done as directed by Sir Romney returning to Camelot as quickly as possible

Camelot looked great at the end of the valley with the sun illuminating its towers and turrets. Arthur glanced to the hill on the right, knowing that there were sentries posted there to alert the castle of any danger. Sir Rook waved at one of the sentries who waved back.

Two knights in their red cloaks, two squires in brown and a messenger in Camelot colours would raise no alarm.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8 : SUMMONED HOME**

As they approach Camelot, Sir Rook explained the message delivered stated that King Uther was not well and to protect his health, all travellers and beggars at Gaius's suggestion as Court Physician, were to be turned away from the castle gates.

The small party of two knights and two squires with the messenger entered by a little used but heavily guarded courtyard near the kitchens. The horses were taken from them and Sir Leon met them telling them that they would have to see Gaius before they were released into the main community of the castle. They all seemed healthy and Gaius allowed them to go to their respective rooms.

Arthur stayed in Gaius's chambers where the physician explained more fully the situation with his father. Two days ago Uther had seemed well at supper but by the morning was complaining of feeling nauseous. By lunch he looked ill and subsequently had a high fever and uncontrollable shivering. His face was blotched and his legs and hands blue.

Gaius attributed it to a public meeting the king had had with some visitors who were subsequently found struck down by the same symptoms. Three other knights were affected but were responded to Gaius's ministrations. However, the king was not. Gaius considered him too weak for any blood letting or treatment with leeches and was at his wits' end, hoping that Brother Aloysius's arrival later in the day might shed a light on the mysterious illness.

Arthur was then sent to his own chamber with the suggestion that he remained there until the illness was identified. Never one to enjoy being commanded to do something, Arthur was ready to rebel but seeing the look of concern in Gaius's eye, he said, "I will do as you ask, Gaius, but please keep me updated on the King's condition."

"I will, Arthur, just realise that being confined is not a punishment. I know very little about what ails the king and as your position in this kingdom is of great importance, being restricted to your chamber for a couple of days is a precaution."

Arthur nodded and left the room to be greeting by his manservant Martin who accompanied him to his chamber. Arthur was in no mood to chatter and they walked in silence.

Sir Leon who had also been present knew that Gaius was protecting Arthur as the future king and realised how sick King Uther actually was. Gaius said, "Don't say anything to Arthur or to any other knight. Sir Rupert has been notified to prepare for the worst and that is why it is imperative that Arthur's health is protected. God willing, the King will make a turn for the better but until that actually happens, Leon, we can only pray."

Arthur oblivious to the extent of his father's illness took advantage of the time before Merlin and the other squires returned to relax. Martin prepared him a bath, laid out fresh clothes and sent down for a meal. All the while bringing him up to date on what had happened at the castle since he has been away. "The king hasn't been well for a few days and Gaius has been run off his feet, however so far only three knights who were present at the meeting have been affected and they have all shown improvement. I heard that one of the original sick visitors didn't make it and died overnight."

"Can you get word to Merlin once he gets back, that I would like to see him?"

"I can try, Sir, but we are under strict orders not to leave our usual areas of the castle and I know that Gaius has been bemoaning the fact that he had even allowed his apprentice to go on the outing to meet up with the monks as he really needed him here."

"Martin, Brother Aloysius and Brother Anselme are well experienced with health problems so I'm sure that once they arrive, they will be of help and the illness will be identified." He had not thought that Gaius might have needed Merlin's help and realised that that would be where he should be instead of keeping him company. He'd be happy to know at least that Merlin was safely back in Camelot.

He sat in front of the fire day-dreaming and suddenly came to when he realised that he had once again seen strange places and things. This time screaming sounds and being trundled at speed through alleyways and buildings. He knew Merlin was there but pushed out of the way by strange speaking, blue clothed persons. He felt as if his head was going to explode and then saw his hearth and familiar chamber.

-0-0-

Gaius never found the cause. Brother Aloysius was at a loss. They watched the king get weaker as the three younger knights improved and no other cases materialised.

Arthur was allowed to see his father and was shocked at his appearance. The seriousness of the situation struck him as he realised should anything happen to his father, he would be responsible for the Kingdom of Camelot. The sick room was darkened and stuffy, the bed was drenched with the king's sweat yet he shivered uncontrollably. His manservant and an assistant changed his bed and the bath sheets he laid upon. Maids were continually taking bed linens and night clothes down to the laundry.

Uther's manservant listened intently to what Gaius was telling him. He had Brother Anselme with him throughout the day. Together they monitored the king's condition and kept Gaius and Brother Aloysius informed.

Meantimes, Merlin was run off his feet as he did his usual work for Gaius. Added to that he spent time finding references in Gaius's library of medical papers for suggestions to help in healing the king. He was also at the beck and call of Brother Aloysius which saw him scouting the woods to find herbs and plants which the monk needed. He thought of Arthur but had no way to contact him. He knew that the king was close to death and hoped for a miracle as he felt that Arthur was not ready to assume the reins of power He did not believe that Arthur at his age was prepared to take over running the kingdom even with the help of The Royal Council and the Senior Knights.

It annoyed him as when he felt his position should have been with Arthur, he had spent all of his time working in the physician's chambers. Due to the extreme importance of the situation, he had no time for himself. He seemed to be on the go from morning to night. He often wondered if the two physicians realised there was only one of him. His only hope was that Arthur didn't think that he had abandoned him.

Nevertheless, when Uther seemed to stabilise and then take a slight turn for the better, Merlin was able to breathe a sign of relief. He wanted desperately to make contact with Arthur to see how he was managing but he couldn't. He'd tried to question Gaius as to how Arthur was coping but his mentor said, "Don't worry about Arthur, he has his advisors and support staff."

"But have you seen him?" he asked.

"My priority is his father. When Uther is up on his feet, you will be able to make contact with Arthur again." He passed Merlin some parsnips and continued, "Now, these tubers need to be washed and peeled. The peelings are to be pulverised and boiled. I'll make an elixir from the liquid. Away you go, Brother Aloysius and I are going to check on the king."

Merlin returned to the job at hand of scrubbing tubers. It was great that Arthur was being looked after but he would feel better if he could see him with his own eyes.

-0-0-

The castle was a strangely quiet place, no boisterous suppers although training for squires and knights continued as was necessary. Pages no longer roamed the corridors as squires were being used for carrying messages.

Arthur felt that even the few people he saw each day were creeping around him not wanting to disturb him. It was unnerving. The unexplained flashbacks were continuing and he felt isolated and even abandoned even though he knew he wasn't.

Gaius came to him one afternoon with Brother Aloysius to say that the King his father seemed brighter today that he had spoken a few words and had asked to see his son.

Arthur dressed appropriately and Sir Leon escorted him to the royal chambers. He was shocked at how under the weather his father still looked but the king was certainly more conscious of what was going on around him. He heard his father out as he explained that should anything happen to him Arthur as his son would be crowned king.

Uther grasped Arthur's hand as he said,"You have been raised to this…and I have confidence…although you are younger…than I would have wished for you to be...taking over the running of the kingdom…I have every confidence…you will do a credible job." His father lapsed into silence exhausted by the short sentences he had managed to say.

"Father, you will get over this setback, you are already so much better."Arthur said stretching the point slightly as his father's voice could hardly be heard as he was breathless after a few words. The monarch's mind however was alert and what he had said made sense.

Arthur noticed that Gaius and Brother Aloysius seemed pleased and they later explained that this was the best condition they had seen the king in for the last three weeks. Brother Aloysius said, "It's a good sign as he is becoming involved with the people around him and the goings on in his chambers. He is capable of speaking in complete sentences and his thoughts are succinct."

"He has even taken some liquids," Gaius added, "and we will be more able to feed him medicine with what he consumes. Today, he even spoke about when he gets better, that is a good sign. He even asked after the knights who were also sick."

Arthur thought that he still looked at death's door but agreed that he was lucid, A weight was lifted off his shoulders as Gaius said as they stood at the door, "Arthur, I think seeing you has helping him. Thank you for agreeing to visit him. It has put his mind at rest. Hopefully he will have a good night's rest and be ready to face tomorrow in a positive frame of mind."

Arthur nodded wishing the Court Physician a good night and walked with Sir Leon back to his chambers.

-0-0-

King Uther was improving slowly. His convalescence would take time and the Royal Council and Senior Knights had decided that his condition should be kept secret as much as possible. As the optimum time for neighbouring kingdoms to attack would be when Camelot's leader was weak and unable to respond.

While the Royal Council continued with the administration of day to day affairs, Sir Rupert assumed responsibility for keeping the knights in top form and training continued for the squires and pages.

-0-0-

Sir Leon was worried about Arthur as on the last three occasions he'd seen him, he was morose and unwilling to talk. He did not have the company of his friends and was as far as Leon was concerned, too much involved with his father's illness and the muttering of the old men who now were interested in taking the Crown Prince under their wings.

Arthur had never had a hovering father figure and he found that the best way to deal with all these genuine sentiments of interest and caring was to shut himself away from everyone, remaining in his chambers where he could decide whom to permit access.

Leon figured that it would now be good for Arthur's to get out and about. His father was holding his own and Gaius had agreed that Arthur's sitting in front of his fire in his room did nothing to improve the situation.

"Take him out for a good gallop that will blow away all the cobwebs and make him feel energised."

"Sounds great but he has to be willing to leave his room. I guess I couldn't borrow your assistant for a few hours could I?"

Merlin who had just walked in glanced up as Gaius said, "You can have him for the afternoon. He could probably do with a break as well." Turning to Merlin he said, "You'll work with Leon this afternoon but be back here before supper."

"Let's go before Gaius changes his mind!" Leon said smiling as he slipped his arm across Merlin's shoulders and escorting him out of the room.

-0-0-

On their way to Arthur's chambers, Leon explained briefly that Arthur needed cheering up. "He's holed up in his room and if he steps outside some well-meaning person tries to comfort him or commiserate with him on the amount on work which will now be laid on his young shoulders. Gaius thinks a good gallop would fix him but he obviously didn't realise it was pelting rain so I decided that an afternoon with someone who has no ties with Senior Knights and members of the Royal Council might accomplish the same thing.

"I have given Martin the afternoon off so if Arthur needs anything, could you look after it?" Merlin nodded. "Try to get him out of his room even if it is only to roam around the castle. I think the realisation of what he will have to face one day, hopefully in the far distant future, has shocked him. It came out of nowhere as the king was hale and hearty before Arthur left and on death's door upon his return."

"Leave him to me, Sir Leon, I can be good company when I put my mind to it!" Merlin said with a smile.

They passed the guards stationed at the bottom of the stairs and Merlin heard Leon tell them that the physician's apprentice was to be allowed access to the Prince Arthur's chamber without being challenged, regardless of it being day or night.

They reached the door to Arthur's chambers and Leon stopped, "He's been through a lot, I don't know how willing he'll be to talk. I think he's needed to speak with someone his own age for some time but, with the king so ill, his son's needs were ignored. Now it's up to you. He's all yours!"

"Thank you, Sir Leon, I'll look after him until Martin returns."

Merlin's heart was thumping in his chest as he opened the door to Arthur's antechamber, the last time he'd been there was following that awful training session when Arthur had been exhausted.

Martin was in the antechamber ready to leave. He nodded at Merlin and explained, "I will place lunch on this side board, in case the Prince should feel he's hungry. The fire has been recently banked. Between you and me he's practically dead on his feet and needs a good sleep. I'm sure he's worrying himself sick but it is not in my position to say anything to him.

"The Assistant Chamberlain Humphrey was here two days ago and he did seem to perk up a little, even had some breakfast but within a half hour of his leaving, he was once again sitting in front of the fire staring at the flames. Sometimes he'll answer me with a yes or no but other times it's as if he's blocked out all intrusions and wants to keep to himself. I worry about him as he is usually a very active young man. Gaius told me to keep doing what I was and that time would be the healer. He dropped by to visit him but the prince was in a deep sleep and he seemed loathe to waken him. I will be back with supper and to see if you need anything else." So saying, he walked across to the bedchamber door opened it and stood back to let Merlin enter.

-0-0-

The heavy curtains were closed over the windows and a figure all scrunched up was sitting in front of the fire.

Merlin walked into the room and felt the heat, he slipped off his jacket and threw it on the bed, the figure in front of the fire didn't move. He sat on the bed waiting for Arthur to turn around which he didn't.

Finally, knowing only too well that Arthur if he needed, to defend himself, could move extremely quickly and valuing his own life, Merlin stood against the bedpost and said quietly, "Arthur?" No response so he said a little louder, "Arthur, it's me can I come closer?"

Merlin noticed Arthur's shoulders seemed to sag even more and a muffled voice said, "Yes!"

The emotion surrounding the word went right to Merlin's heart and he walked forward and stood behind him. He slipped his arms around his neck and held him to his chest before lowering his head and gently kissing the top of Arthur's head.

He stayed there holding the prince to himself until a flood of emotions was released in Arthur and he starting sobbing. He managed to say, "I wanted you here with me so much...but I knew Gaius needed you more at the moment as did my father.

"They didn't want me talking to any of my friends among the squires and Council just kept drilling me in all the things I would need to do if my father died. I'm tired but I can't sleep…and when I do I have wild dream and hear strange noises such that I have never experienced. None of it makes any sense."

Merlin walked around him and knelt before him on the floor saying, "I think they botched up the whole thing, don't you? Your father is now out of danger, there is every hope that he will make a full recovery and you won't be taking on the responsibilities of the kingdom for many a year." He lifted Arthur's chin until he could make eye contact, "Trust me?"

Arthur nodded and Merlin could see that he was more relaxed already. He left him and went to the window saying, "It's still daylight outside, is it all right if I open the curtains?" He smiled encouragingly at Arthur who nodded in return. The room suddenly looked better and Merlin was surprised at how disheveled Arthur looked as if he had been living rough for the last three weeks.

He walked back to him and said, "You need a bath, a shave and a haircut but not now. I think a little sleep would do you good. When did you last have a good night's sleep?"

"I can't remember, I intend to sleep and then my mind starts racing, my head aches and I can't."

Merlin thought of all the preparations that Gaius could have made up to help settle Arthur's mind to allow sleep and he felt guilty. "Well, I think you should try a little rest now, what do you think?"

Arthur looking relieved that someone else was making the decisions nodded before adding, "You'll stay with me won't you?"

Smiling Merlin said, "Well, I wouldn't turn down the chance of a short afternoon nap...if that is, you don't mind sharing your bed." He stood and held out his hands and Arthur grasped them as a dying man might his rescuer. He put his arm around Arthur's shoulders leading him to the bed, and once he had him seated on the bed, knelt down to remove Arthur's house shoes.

"Don't do that, I can remove them myself!"

Merlin smiled ignoring Arthur's command, "One day, I'll probably need help with my boots and you can reciprocate."

Arthur smiled but the smile never reached his eyes then his face became serious as he said as he lay back on the pillow, "Merlin, I don't think I have what it calls for to be a king…it's as though I am divided in two persons. I know things but I can't put my finger on them and my dreams are beyond my wildest imagination."

Slipping into bed beside him, Merlin said, "You will understand, Arthur, when the time comes." He slipped his hand into Arthur's and held it letting it go only when Arthur's breathing showed that he was asleep.

The next four hours were anything but peaceful as Arthur tossed and turned, sometimes sobbing and at other time muttering. Each time Merlin held him until he settled. He found himself whispering to Arthur how he truthfully felt which he would never have done if he had been awake. He smiled to himself…he felt closer to Arthur in his time of need than he had ever felt to anyone.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9 : ONE ON ONE**

Leon returned to Gaius suggesting that Merlin be permitted to remain with Arthur until the following morning.

Gaius looked worried saying, "If Arthur is as upset as you say he is, maybe I should check on him tonight?"

"I think as long as Merlin is with him he will be able to sleep and get some real rest. He should be all right. Maybe you could ask Merlin when you see him, how he found him. He is astute and very observant so he will have a general idea."

"How did Arthur seem to you, Leon?"

"Withdrawn and silent but then again, he's been isolated from his friends and the life to which he has become accustomed. All the people he has been dealing with have been so intense and demanding of his time that I believe it was generally overwhelming. He needs to return to his regular schedule. He has mentioned experiencing flashes of light and seeing things that he can't recall or even recognise."

Gaius thought for a while before saying, "Give him two days of getting back on his feet before you suggest that he returns to his regular schedule." He thought again before adding, "If you think Merlin will be of use to him, I can manage now for a few days without him. You can tell Merlin that I am here if he has any questions regarding Arthur's health."

Sir Leon said, "I will let him know and thank you, Gaius, for making time to see me as I know that you are very busy," he smiled before added, "…as always...I made arrangements for supper to be delivered here within the next hour. Take the time to enjoy it and leave writing reports until later. Martin said that he would be willing to lend a hand to the king's manservant Richard. You and Anselme deserve a break away from the sick room."

Gaius smiled at the curly-haired knight and realised that he had the makings of a senior knight in the future. He wasn't afraid of hard work and was willing to go out of his way to get something accomplished even if it meant extra work. Arthur would be wise to surround himself with the likes of Leon. Smiling to himself, Gaius thought and also Merlin, who was one in a million as far as he was concerned and he missed his happy grin and chattering.

Sir Leon strode off down the corridor to access the stairs to the Royal Chambers. He let himself into Arthur's antechamber and tapped on the connecting door to his bed chamber and waited. Merlin opened the door and held it open for him but Leon motioned for him to step into the antechamber.

He said,"I have spoken to Gaius explaining the situation as I see it. He would like Arthur to get out and about but not return to his regular schedule for two full days." He smiled as he said, "…and he has extended your leave of absence for the same amount of time as he says that with Anselme he can manage."

Merlin's face broke into a big smile, "I have a two day holiday...and get to spend it with Arthur…that is if he wants me around that much."

"If he doesn't, let me know and I will send Piers to keep him company."

A voice suddenly said, "Why would I need Piers for company if Merlin is around?"

They turned to see that they had been joined by Arthur himself. Merlin grinned and said, "Arthur, Gaius has given me another two days as a holiday."

"That's great as we can have supper together and you can come and watch me training."

Sir Leon interrupted him, "Gaius feels that maybe you should also take two days to get back into shape, Arthur, as you have been through a stressful time."

Arthur thought for a few minutes, it had been a stressful time but he was a little unclear about what had happened. Then he said, "We can do whatever we want?"

"Well, within reason, no swinging from the chandeliers or playing tricks on the staff."

Arthur looked at him a little confused before saying, "We'll be model residents of the castle, won't we Merlin?"

Nodding, Merlin assured Sir Leon that there would be no need to put on extra guards because the two of them intended to amuse themselves.

"If the weather holds we can go out with the horses…possibly hunting," Arthur said, "as winter's around the corner and the castle always needs extra food."

"Or we could gather turnips and other root vegetables and not stress the local wood's inhabitants."

Arthur just laughed and putting his arm around Merlin's shoulders said, "That is open for discussion." While he winked at Leon who knew that the very idea of Arthur's digging up wild tubers would never win over the plan for a day's hunting."

"Well, whatever you plan to do, take it easy." He bowed to the crown prince and nodded at Merlin and walked back into the corridor. Feeling sure that with Merlin in tow, Arthur would not get into any real trouble.

-0-0-

Arthur felt better already, his head almost seemed clear. He'd had a couple of hours sleep and Merlin had encouraged him to eat something and now according to Sir Leon, Merlin would be free over the next two days to visit whenever he wanted. He had a feeling that at one point in time, Merlin used to be with him every day but he couldn't remember.

Suddenly he had a great idea! "Merlin, could you maybe stay here for the next two days? You can go and get whatever clothes you need. There's plenty of room here and if we want we can join the squires for lunch or have food sent up from the kitchens."

Merlin thought of the bed chamber, it was certainly spacious and well appointed with its heavy, draft deadening tapestries, deep piled rugs and the four poster bed. Across the bed there was a rabbit pelt cover for added warmth, Merlin was pleased to think that the flesh and the skins of the animals had been put to use. He smiled remembering his mother's suggestion of 'waste not, want not'! The hearth was stacked with wood and the cupboard near the wardrobe, had extra candles. Arthur had a thick candle which burned during the night at the end of his bed. Merlin found that was rather extravagant but if it was what Arthur wanted who was he to question it. He would see that whatever Arthur needed he would have, now was not the time to try to save money.

The prince's water closet contained all the luxuries of life; the little room was cosy due to the fire which heated the coppers so that there was hot water on demand. He smiled that was the life of a prince, if he wanted to bathe, the fire could be lit and within the hour, hot water was available as well as, as many thick bath sheets as he requested.

Antechambers were a buffer between the private chambers and the castle corridor. Martin as manservant had access to it and overnight he'd have occupied the smaller chamber off it. He would be able to answer the main door to the corridor without interrupting the prince's sleep. The door to the bedchamber had a wooden bar which could be used by the occupant if he did not want to be disturbed.

"I could barricade myself in here for days!" Arthur proudly told Merlin, "…and no one could enter."

"But, wouldn't you get hungry or is there a secret passageway for you to access the kitchens?"

"You know what I mean, Merlin. Anyway, I could always ask Martin to get me food."

"Not too barricaded in then…!" It hurt Merlin to think this as he felt that that was exactly what Arthur was, separated from people by his position in life.

The two of them started to laugh and Merlin realised that for all the wonderful possessions that Arthur had, he did not have the freedom which Merlin enjoyed and he was determined that over the next few days, he would see that Arthur became free, well as free as a crown prince living in Camelot could be.

He looked at Arthur and said, "I accept your kind invitation to stay here for the next two days. However, if at any time you want rid of me, just say so and you can kick me out!"

"Never!" Arthur said as his heart filled his chest and he smiled shyly at Merlin who returned his smile.

-0-0-

There was a tapping at the bedchamber door and Merlin opened it to find that Martin had had supper delivered and left on the sideboard in the antechamber. He stepped forward and raised some of the covers off the platters and was pleased with the aromas. He carried the dishes in and placed them on the table and Arthur actually went out and helped bring in some of the dishes as well.

"I think we should drink the soup immediately and put the meat and vegetables on the hearth to keep warm."

"Martin has outdone himself…look!" Arthur said, waving a large pewter jug of cider and two tankards, returning later with two goblets and a wine container.

"Arthur, if we drink all of that we'll be under the table."

"We don't have to drink it all at one sitting as it will keep cool on the windowsill."

The meal was excellent, a clear beef broth followed by thick slices of beef, mushrooms, a vegetable puree and toasted bread. This was followed by some cheese with dried fruit. There was more food than the two of them could ever eat. Merlin smiled he would have liked to have packaged up all the leftovers and delivered them to his mother. She would have so enjoyed them.

Arthur glanced up at him and said, "Why the smile?"

"As funny as it sounds, to many people these leftovers would be considered a banquet. Not that they know what a banquet is but you understand what I mean."

Arthur thought about it, from the time he was little he knew about banquets and feasts when there was an abundance of food. He had learned as he grew up that there were people who never had sufficient to eat, not here in the castle but in the outlying villages of the kingdom. He had had little contact with them and realised that Merlin's upbringing had been very different from his own.

Then he couldn't remember the difference in their upbringings and he worried as he seemed to be getting more frequent strange flashbacks and his mind wasn't working as usual. Today he hadn't been able to remember how many years a page studied before becoming a squire.

-0-0-

The meal finished they sat in front of the fire enjoying full stomachs and each other's company. Arthur after being quiet for a while said, "I spend most of the evenings by myself; it's nice to have another person in my chamber."

"But Martin's usually here isn't he?"

"Yes, but he has his own little room and I don't see him once the table has been cleared, unless I need him or it is time to turn in then he will check that the fire is banked. He fills the bedwarmer with hot embers and slips it into the bed. The fires under the coppers are laid but not lit until the morning. He makes sure the room is tidy and if I need nothing else, he disappears." Just thinking about the regular routine seemed to exhaust him and he yawned.

Merlin seeing that Arthur was tired said, "I'm thinking about getting into bed. The fire is banked, the empty platters back on the sideboard, I will put in the bedwarmer…"

"No need, with the two of us sharing the bed it will be warmer than usual…anyway we must have only got up about four hours ago."

Thinking back to the troubled sleep which Arthur had had, Merlin said, "Well, I think I'd be more comfortable stretched out that trying to get comfortable in this chair. What about you?"

Arthur stood up and stretched, "Actually, although I slept this afternoon it wasn't very peaceful as everything was racing through my mind. I feel as though I have lost my sense of time. There are blanks and then unanswered questions. Maybe I could sleep if we went to bed now, if not…we can talk."

Smiling to himself Merlin realised that they would probably spend some time talking as Arthur still had that haunted look which had resulted in his being miles away when they had been talking earlier in the afternoon. He still needed to talk and Merlin could be a marvellous listener.

With Merlin beside him, Arthur settled quickly and smiled drowsily as he said, "You're my guardian for the night. Sleep tight!"

Merlin lay awake, he would do exactly as Gaius had suggested, to keep Arthur talking never contradicting him on his sense of reality but trying to remain constant in his view of the situation.

Merlin would have loved to have closed all the curtains around the four poster, it would have made a private pavilion just for the two of them. He had seen a collection of pavilions set up for a tournament years ago when he had visited Gaius with his mother. All he remembered was the king's, which had pennants with golden dragons embroidered on them and guards standing at attention outside. He wondered if there was one for the crown prince and maybe he would ask Arthur about it.

He fell asleep and was awaked by Arthur thrashing around beside him. He reached out for him and got an elbow in the head. He pulled back and said soothingly, "Arthur, it's all right. You're safe in your own bed."

A frightened voice said, "They intend to crown me but I am sure that is not their intention. They have too many swords, I'm sure they wish me ill!"

Merlin slipped out of bed and knelt on the floor at Arthur's side. "Open your eyes, Arthur, it's me Merlin, see that's your hearth and your windows."

Slowly, Arthur relaxed but still did not open his eyes, Merlin kept whispering about his room and how he was safe until he realised Arthur had fallen asleep. He had no idea what time it was but they couldn't have been asleep for long.

He went to climb back to his side of the bed and then thought otherwise. If Arthur was upset and felt someone making their way across his bed he might wake and think that he was being attacked. Merlin knew that he would come out the worse for wear so he sucked in his breath and tiptoed around the end of the bed and tried not to think about the freezing cold flagstones.

One of the things Arthur remarked about the following morning as they had breakfast was how cold Merlin's feet had been during the night. "I woke up thinking that my feet must have been in a river and then I realised it was your feet next to mine that was the source of the cold."

Merlin smiled saying, "No one else has ever complained about my cold feet!"

"Because you have never slept with anyone else…right?" Arthur said looking him straight in the eye.

Merlin blushed and said, "Well apart from the family dog…no!"

"We'll have to do something about that," Arthur said almost under his breath before adding in a normal voice, "Did I keep you awake? I had some crazy dreams but I knew I wasn't alone and they were not as troublesome as usual. Are they always going to be there? I want so much to be able to hang onto them to try to understand them but they fade away too quickly and I'm left with flashes of happenings that are disjointed and make no sense at all. Do you think, they will finally stop?"

"Yes, because as you work out what it was that was the most frightening and talk it out then you will realise that it wasn't at all your fault." Merlin tried to keep his voice unemotional all Arthur needed now was for him to break down and then he would be unable to give him the support he desperately needed. "Everyone was so tied up in the goings on that no one thought abut how you were managing. It's been a lesson learned by all that you should have had your own advisors who could have answered any pressing questions and kept away many of the people whom you felt were hounding you."

"Like the members of the Royal Council?"

"Yes, a couple of them might have approached you in the presence of your advisors. I think Rupert would be an excellent choice or even Calder. Hopefully, they will learn from this."

"…and if they don't?"

"You will have to suggest that advisors are needed in such a situation for someone in your position. I know that Gaius and Leon would agree and would support your request."

"Maybe, they won't be necessary for a long time as when my father regains his strength, he will have many years in which to reign and then when the time comes, you will be here with me and we will both be much older and I will be more able to cope…I was frightened! What happened, Merlin? Deep down I know that I was never trained to be a king and yet suddenly, people are expecting things of me that make no sense."

Merlin moved his chair over and sat close to Arthur with his arm around his shoulder, "…I know that!" He wished he could speed up Arthur's recovery but time would be the only cure.

"It was as if I were falling but I never hit the ground and was spinning around trying desperately to grasp at something to which I might anchor myself…and you weren't here…and Gaius was busy with my father and no one would take a message to him that I needed help."

The tears started to fall and Arthur collapsed into Merlin's arms. Merlin held him as you might a sobbing child. Marvelling that this young man who was so strong had had to experience such a tragedy which had left him so weak, seeking aid which he saw as being denied when in fact very experienced people were on his side and had been working with him twenty four seven.

He let his head fall over Arthur's and gently kissed the top of his hair, Arthur looked up and Merlin used his thumbs to brush away the tears on his cheeks. He let his thumb trail over Arthur's lips and then pulled him closer to him.

"Arthur, I feel so guilty, if I had realised how much you were suffering I would have done everything in my power to be sure that you realised I was here. I should have been more vocal. I knew it was bad but I never realising how bad it was for you. I tried to be with you as much as they allowed me. I should have been more insistent but I'm here now and we will see this to its end…together."

"I thought at one point to seek help from my father but that would never do. He is a tough man and a strict leader, if he heard that I was unable to cope with the situation he would consider me weak and unsuitable to take over as King of Camelot. Remember I told you of the situation with Sir Runolf on the training field."

He heard himself say, "He can't pass over you…you are his son and will become king regardless of how he feels."

"As it may be, but accidents can happen…" Arthur continued.

Merlin checked himself as he had been warned not to get carried away in Arthur's world. He however found it difficult to not agree with him as it made him more relaxed which to Merlin was a positive outcome, although, he had been cautioned that it could be counter productive. Before Arthur's mind could make any strides in recovery, he had to face the reality which was trying to penetrate the fantasy with which he had surrounded himself.

"Arthur, if anything bad ever happened to you and it was proven that someone I knew was involved, I would take it upon myself to settle accounts on your behalf even if my actions were considered inappropriate."

"But bad things _did_ happen and you couldn't help me as you weren't even here…" Arthur said. He seemed intent on continuing but was at a loss to grasp what had happened and arrange his thoughts to make a statement. He just looked ahead confused and lost...glancing at Merlin before finally dropping his eyes to study their clasped hands.

Merlin waited for him to continue but he didn't. He looked at the panic in his friend's eyes and pulled Arthur back to him. He had been there nearly every day for the last ten weeks but Arthur couldn't remember…it hurt him realizing that Arthur had felt unloved and abandoned.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10 : REALITY SETS IN**

They sat there until there was a tap on the door and Daniel arrived to clear the table and tidy up the room. "It's no longer raining, Sir, and it's drying up nicely underfoot."

Arthur said, "I think that some of the knights are planning to hunt tomorrow morning and Sir Leon assured me that we would be welcomed to join them."

"Well, I think I'll pass on that as I have work to do here," Daniel said as he picked up the trays. Merlin liked him as he managed to walk the thin line between reality and fantasy yet not upset Arthur unduly.

Arthur turned and looked at Merlin who shrugged his shoulder and smiled, if he was going to be involved with the life of Prince Arthur, he had better start by trying to understand the royal pleasure obtained from bushwhacking after deer and wild boar.

"Daniel, send a message to Sir Leon thanking him for his kind invitation and stating that Merlin and I will be present."

Merlin thought, 'Heaven knows what I have let myself in for, I'm well out of my depth.'

Daniel left hoping to see Arthur's Sir Leon who was actually Dr. Leon Calder to tell him how happy his patient seemed to be at the thought of a day in the woods. Merlin maybe not so much, but he had a feeling that if Arthur had said that he was going to a foreign land to live on the highest mountain top, Merlin would have gone along as well.

As the door shut, Arthur said, "Thank you, Merlin. Probably not your idea of a great day, but just think you will be contributing to the royal larder and…making me very happy." Arthur put his arms around him and held him. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life!"

"…and you in mine but…" and he let himself slip into Arthur's world against Gaius's recommendation as he said, "…maybe, I should hold back from saying that until I see if I survive my first hunt!"

-0-0-

Merlin spent the morning with Arthur getting him to leave his room and walk to the activities room at the end of the corridor. He only ever agreed to go out of his bedchamber as he insisted on calling it, with people he knew, the knights or his menservants. He was very well mannered and referred to all the medical staff as Sir, except Merlin, Leon and Gaius as they were friends. Porters and cleaners received nods as they passed him.

He could have had many visitors but Dr. Gaius felt that it was too soon. He did give permission to Arthur's friends Gawaine and Piers to visit to encourage Arthur to speak about the present instead of his preferred Arthurian past. Even football was beyond him, he did not recognise the names of the teams not even his beloved Arsenal and was very confused to learn that you could only touch the ball with your foot or your head.

It was strange to see that although he saw his room as a bedchamber in the fifth century, he accepted once he was beyond his antechamber door, the change to twentieth century architecture. Merlin had once seen him stroking the expanse of glass in the sun room and marvelling at the size of the panes.

Uther as a model father did visit but it always put Arthur back more firmly into the past. The man tried but Arthur would not meet him even halfway for as soon as he saw him he asked for guards to protect him and refused to speak.

Dr. Calder one day, introduced Uther without his jacket or tie and with his sleeves rolled up as an old friend of the family and with Merlin's help, Arthur actually carried on a lucid conversation with one 'Harry Moreton'. Uther was thrilled seeing that his son had improved and trusted the medical staff when they said that Arthur was slowly returning to the present.

As the summer holidays came around, Merlin spent more time with Arthur even bringing along his mother on one occasion and Gaius was impressed with the result as Arthur had been his old charming self and had needed no help remembering who Hunith was.

Not all days were positive though and one night Merlin stayed over as during the day, there had been a disturbance in the activities room and a patient had to be removed in restraints. This had thrown Arthur back through the mists of time and he had insisted that he return to his bedchamber and that guards be placed at the head of the stairs.

His room had once again become a refuge and in his mind's eye, he saw his welcoming hearth, his fourposter bed and his water closet. The condition lasted for thirty hours until upon waking he told Merlin who had joined him for breakfast that the fires should be lit under the coppers and then he had fallen silent and Merlin watching him trying to separate fact from fantasy, had found it extremely difficult.

Arthur was later to say, "I can't remember…on one hand, Merlin, I see my room as it is at present and on the other I see it as the safe place it used to be and I want to run away and stay there undisturbed."

-0-0-

Surprisingly, Gaius was pleased when Merlin reported this conversation. "It's a sign that he is improving. His brain is able to distinguish reality and I can see that it must be difficult for him to let go of the thoughts which for the last seven months have been protecting him. He has turned a big corner in his treatment and he is ready to take the next step and possibly visit the places with which he is familiar outside the clinic. I'll speak to Uther and arrange a car to take him on a little tour of the more well known places in London."

"Can he come home?"

"No, he is not ready for that. To begin with it has to be places to which he is not emotionally attached as I know that if you got him home, he wouldn't want to return here after the weekend was over…and you wouldn't want him to return here either. However, in the not too distant future, I promise, we will reach the stage when he will spend his weekends at home and return here on Mondays."

Merlin nodded adding, "It's taken longer than I thought it would."

"Some people never get over the effects of a like injury, Arthur is one of the lucky ones. Are you still separating yourself from any conversation where he dwells on things which used to be?"

"I try but heaven knows, Gaius, it is so difficult. Two days ago, he started talking about hawks and how wonderful it was to fly them. I was mesmerised and fell right into the trap and he went on for almost two hours, describing the various hawks and their different styles of hunting. I was fascinated by how much he knew. He was like the old Arthur and then he mentioned the falcons popular with ladies of the court and as he said the word merlin, the light went out of his eyes and he stared out the window for close to fifteen minutes without saying anything."

Gaius said, "His concussion caused massive damage to his brain. In some ways, it is a miracle that he came out of his induced coma with such ease, as it was for him to never lose his power of speech. He was living in a different time to us, he was still communicating with those members of the staff whom he trusted."

The phone rang and Gaius took it, waving to Merlin as he left his office.

-0-0

Making his way along the corridor to pick up Arthur after his session with Dr. Leon, Merlin noticed an announcement for a Musical Medieval Evening after supper in the sun room. He thought that Arthur might enjoy time outside his room and that the music would be calming and enjoyable.

After supper which they took in the residents' dining room, they made their way downstairs. Nurse Malloy heard they planned to attend the show after supper and said that she'd heard good things about the group and Arthur could tell her all about it tomorrow.

Daniel and Peter were Arthur's private nurses. His father had arranged for him to have individual care, twenty-four hours a day and the third nurse was a motherly lady called Madge. When he was being fractious and refused to do what he was asked, Madge's arrival on the scene settled him immediately and he became only too happy to cooperate.

He once told Merlin confidentially that Madge had powers and shouldn't be trifled with. Merlin had nodded seriously knowing that it was Madge's no nonsense attitude, not unlike that of a experienced primary school teacher, resounding in Arthur's mind which seemed to produce miracles. She was a lovely person and in some instances when things had really got out of control and Merlin had had visions of losing Arthur completely, it was Madge's calm exterior and loving heart which had seen him through the crisis.

-0-0-

Merlin was very impressed, Arthur had managed admirably during the meal and had the clinic serving staff laughing as he referred to his server as 'My Good Man!' Most of the staff knew Arthur by name, he was always courteous even thought sometimes a little confused.

They made their way to the sunroom and were seated when the troupe of entertainers arrived. Arthur was immediately taken by the costumes. He was sitting on the edge of his seat thoroughly enjoying himself. Merlin and the majority of the audience were also taken with the song and dance routines. There were acrobats and jugglers, singers and a master of ceremonies who kept the acts moving along.

Merlin glanced back and saw many staff clustered around the doorways. Arthur grabbed Merlin's arm saying, "That's a peregrine falcon the chap on the left is holding, a fabulous bird!"

The singer started strumming his lute and Arthur's ears pricked up. He knew the ballad and quite happily sang along with the group for all the refrains. Across the room Daniel caught Merlin's eye and gave him a thumbs up. His patient might sometimes be straddling two worlds but he was really enjoying himself.

Merlin found the music almost hypnotic and was humming along as well. Too soon, the singing was over with the leader promising a few more songs after the dancers had performed.

Arthur was captivated; Merlin thought back years ago when Arthur had considered going to a Medieval Fair and Merlin had laughed at him telling him he had better things to do on Sundays. Now seeing how much Arthur was enjoying the presentation he felt he'd been selfish.

Soon the last song was sung and the group packed up. Arthur went over to talk to them and Merlin heard one of the dancers congratulating him on his name. The leader smiled telling him anytime he would be interested in performing with them he'd be welcome and slipped him his troupe's card .

Merlin felt sure that Arthur would not be able to sleep but after he'd received his medication from Madge who was now on duty. He dutifully turned in and Merlin also got ready for bed. As Merlin had a calming influence on its patient the clinic had finally arranged for Arthur to be moved to a twin bedded room so that Merlin could stay over whenever possible. Uther had graciously agreed to cover any additional expenses.

"Night, Merlin! Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yes, it was very good. How did you know all the songs and dances?"

Arthur slipped back in time as he said seriously, "When we are squires we learn to sing and also learn basic dance steps so when we become knights we can dance with the ladies of the court. Did you bank up the fire? It's a little chilly in here."

Merlin slipped out of bed and took an extra blanket from the cupboard and threw it over Arthur. "You'll be warmer now. Good night, Love!"

"Can you get in next to me?"

"We talked about that before, the beds are too narrow."

Arthur said quietly, "If...I get well, will we live together again?"

Merlin's heart clenched momentarily as he smiled and said, "Not if, Arthur, when! As soon as you get a clear bill of health from Dr. Gaius, I'm going to pack you and all your belongings into a taxi and we'll go straight home. Give me a kiss!"

He leant over Arthur and taking his time kissed him, gently to begin with and then with more passion.

Arthur said sadly, "Merlin, if I was in my bedchamber, I would drop the bar on the door and love you to within an inch of your life. Here, not so much as alarms would probably go off and Madge would come in and make you go back to your own bed!"

Merlin smiled, once again Arthur had spoken in the same sentence comparing his two life styles. The first time he had done so he was certain that his mind was functioning properly and had been disappointed when he had excitedly told Dr. Leon about it, only to have him say that it was to be expected but did not show that Arthur was ready to be released from the facility. He still needed twenty-four hour nursing supervision and jumping the gun and signing his discharge papers would mean that should his problem reoccur he would be right back on the waiting list for treatment and placement.

Merlin gave Arthur another kiss and a hug and went back to the other bed. It had taken three months to get him admitted to this hospital. After his time at the London Trauma Hospital, he had ben released to another facility which had been almost medieval. The staff needing training, supplies were unavailable and patients registered and practically ignored. It had broken Merlin's heart visiting and seeing Arthur ignored, often lying in a soiled bed, not challenged to do anything other than stay in bed and eat what was propped in front of him on a bed tray. He deserved better than that.

Knowing that the level of care was way below the norm, Merlin started knocking on doors. It was Uther's threat to call in the journalists that put a fire under a young intern who suggested twenty-four hour private nursing care and started giving his free time to Arthur talking to him, eliciting responses and doing what therapy he could.

One of Uther's parliamentary friends had experienced a suicide attempt by his son and had recommended a research programme specialising in head injuries resulting in brain damage. Uther ran with it and pulled all the strings to have Arthur examined by one of their doctors and he was accepted into the programme.

Uther had with his money followed up every lead and finally got in touch with Dr. Gaius who had been an acquaintance in his younger days and Gaius had shown some interest in Arthur's case and he had been transferred once a bed was available.

Merlin tried not to think of the events surrounding Arthur's injury. For the longest time he blamed himself but Uther forcibly told him that no part of the blame fell on his shoulders it was just one of those accidents which people could afterwards say, "It could have been me but for the grace of God!"

Arthur had fallen asleep and Merlin pulled his mind away from the past and into the present as he went over how familiar Arthur was with his medieval living arrangements. He was never flustered or confused as he repeatedly described rooms and furnishings.

Smiling to himself about Arthur's reference to dropping the bar on the door and making love, he allowed himself to finally fall sleep…

-0-0-

_It is a lovely spring day and the clouds are scudding across the sky. Arthur's up from London as he is attending the graduation ceremonies at Oxford as some of Merlin's first students receive their degrees. He teases Merlin that he was like a proud father._

"_Proud maybe but not father, some of them are older than I am!"_

"_That's what happens when you are so brilliant, you overtake all us plodding types and push on ahead," Arthur says laughing._

"_Dr. Emrys!" a voice calls and Merlin turns away from Arthur to speak to Dr. Ketchum one of the other professors, Arthur takes a step back so they can speak in private as he watches the families milling about with the new graduates._

_Merlin finally turns back to him and when he is within three feet, there is a crack not unlike a rifle shot followed by a rumble and a piece of masonry dislodges and starts to plummet to the ground. Arthur is going to be caught under the rain of mortar and stone. Surging forward Merlin realises that the corner stone has hit another part of the building and shattered. Small particles of rock and mortar rain down on Arthur who had fallen to his knees._

_A crowd gathers as Merlin kneels beside his friend. __A college porter appears and tries to tell Merlin that the police and EMS have been notified. Merlin tells him that Arthur is not injured, nothing happened he'll just be a little dusty… _

_Merlin starts to shiver and he again sees the block of masonry falling…and the dream repeats itself but this time it is closer to reality…_

_-0-0-_

He is awakened by someone holding him and talking to him, "Merlin, wake up, it's a dream! Arthur's all right, he's beside you in the other bed and fast asleep; he's getting better every day and soon he will be able to go home."

Merlin's eyes opened and he recognised Madge, then he felt sheepish, Arthur had been so brave during his recovery and yet he himself was the one who sometimes fell apart. At least, in his dreams he is spared seeing exactly what happened; however it is no help as when he wakes reality shows its ugly head and he vividly remembers the accident and realises the extent and seriousness of what happened to Arthur.

"I'm sorry! It always seems to be after he has made some improvement that I dream about that awful day. You know that I thought I had lost him. How he survived is a miracle!"

Madge smiled and said, "God obviously has some special job for him to do in the world and…" she laughed quietly, "…don't go telling Arthur's father that I said that as he doesn't hold much with my old fashioned ideas of religion."

Merlin smiled, "All right, I'll keep it a secret." Then he added, "You are so like my mother, she is also convinced that God has something special in line for Arthur!" He wriggled back into a more comfortable position in bed before saying, "Good-night and…thank you!"

"Every now and again I meet people through my job who are special and you, Merlin, are one of them. Get some sleep, Arthur will have you on the go early in the morning." She turned and checked her patient in the other bed and as she left the room said, "Good-night and God Bless!"

Arthur had woken when Madge had come in and he had heard every word. When things were bad he wished that he had never decided to join Merlin for the graduation yet he knew that wishing wouldn't accomplish anything. He had been injured through no fault of his own and he was the one who had to deal with the daily problems as his mind still healed. However, it hurt him more to realise the anguish Merlin was experiencing, he had never told him about his unsettling dreams, he never complained and he spent as much of his time as was physically possible with him.

He was Arthur's rock when things were bad and his hope for the future and Arthur loved him more than anyone else in the whole world.

-0-0-

Uther was only too happy to arrange for his chauffeur to give Arthur, Merlin and whichever nurse was on-duty at that time, a short tour of London. Gaius had recommended a general drive-by of the London points of interest but had reservations about driving him past areas which he closely associated with home.

Merlin had visions of a determined Arthur escaping from the car and there being a foot chase as they tried to round him up to return him to the clinic. Gaius had laughed saying that was unlikely to happen but that the trip would be a positive reintroduction to part of his former life and he felt that Arthur was ready for the outing.

The future plan was that Arthur would be allowed home for weekends but Gaius wasn't sure that Arthur had reached the stage when he would willingly accept to return to the clinic for continuing therapy during the week. Before he was to be allowed his free weekends, the patient had to freely acknowledge that he needed the help being offered and had to return willingly to continued therapy. He promised Merlin it would happen but he was unable to give him the exact time.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11 : DESTINATION ACHIEVED **

For the longest time, Arthur had not realised that there was anything wrong. The headaches were under control and he did not know that he had missed four months of his life in a coma. It meant nothing…all he was conscious of was Merlin when he was near him. He'd reach out and be frustrated that his arm could not grasp him, yet feel him he could when he held his hand and whispered to him.

He had hung on desperately to his memories and the fact that they were in a distant century caused him no problem. It was the flashes of another life which began to intrude into his mind at inopportune moments that caused him some consternation. He felt safe in his bedchamber scenario and no one ever challenged him about it. He was healthy there and he had Merlin and Gaius and his friends. It was a safe place to retreat to when his head felt as if it were being compressed.

One day following minor surgery to relieve pressure on his brain he had been lucid. He was shocked and dismayed to see that he was no longer in Camelot but in a sterile environment which held no memories. He heard the chatter of voices but no one spoke to him and then a gowned man had leant over him to say, "Welcome back, Arthur! You're coming along nicely…!"

Coming…going…Arthur didn't understand any of it and lapsed again into sleep and the safety of his royal bedchamber. Merlin would come soon and they would eat together and sit in front of the hearth and tell each other what they had been doing during the day.

-0-0-

Merlin knew what he had witnessed but his mind refused during sleep to elaborate on or relive the situation as it had happened. It tried to shield itself from the thud of the impact as the stone had glanced off Arthur's head and the surprised look on Arthur's face as he collapsed to the ground.

Gaius was to learn later that the security guards arrived and held back the inquisitive crowd pleading with them not to take photos.

Arthur had received a glancing blow to the head by the falling stone. His scalp bloodied, he was covered in small shards of stone and mortar and there had been a pool of blood collecting on the flagstones beneath his upper body. He had suffered a cranial fracture and concussion, enough to kill many a man. Merlin had held his scarf to the area trying to stem the flow of blood. He was seen by the first arrivers to be capable and knowledgeable but as they took over, he had difficulty in letting go of Arthur.

Merlin was therefore reported as being uncooperative as he fought desperately to remain with Arthur as he was surrounded by medics trying to stabilise him before transporting him to hospital. Professor Ketchum stood with him and held him back as he would only be interfering with the medics who were trying to do their job. Arthur was loaded into an ambulance and it left the college grounds.

Merlin was in a daze not conscious of anything except that he was alone and he hadn't been able to get Arthur to talk to him before they had removed him.

Realising that Merlin was involved with their patient, an attending officer took him and his professor friend to the hospital in his lemon car with the blue and white stripes. His friend gave the police Merlin's name and address as he was in no condition to answer questions. He was also able to supply the information that the injured man was one Arthur Pendragon. Merlin knew what was going on but in shock and unable to add any information that might be of help.

Other witnesses remained at the site to come forward and substantiate what had happened. Within an hour the area was taped off to be further examined. The people who had been in the area, knew that only one largish stone in a section of the upper storey had been dislodged and had fallen. There could have been many casualties; as it was Merlin and some of the others standing nearby were covered in a fine layer of dust.

It was three hours before anyone came to see him as he sat quietly in the corridor near the emergency. A nurse's aide had given him a bottle of water but had been unable to get any information out of him. As the recent head trauma patient had been the only patient admitted besides a couple of drunks, she sensibly left Merlin where he was, he was causing no trouble and she was worried that he might just wander into the night and in the condition he was in become a traffic casualty.

The doctors worked hard and once stabilised Arthur was airlifted to Royal London Hospital.

Merlin was still waiting when the nurse's aid went off duty but she mentioned at the nurses' station that he had come in with the patient who had been sent to Royal London. Someone immediately took him under his wing and it was explained to him that his friend was now in London. They noticed that his hands were still covering in cracked blood and his once dark hair had a grey powdered look to it.

A nurse washed his hands and removed a layer of stone dust from his hair and his face. An intern called Geoffrey tried to carry on a conversation with him which proved difficult. "Your friend is in the best place at the moment. Royal London is know worldwide as a head trauma location. Can you get someone to come and pick you up? You would be better at home than sitting in this hallway."

Merlin mumbled something and the nurse checked his pockets. His friend from college had had enough sense to put his name and phone number in his pocket and they were able to arrange for him to pick him up and take him home.

-0-0-

Gaius had on hand all the reports from the accident site, including the following inquest and plans for restoration work to be done by the university to the damaged building. It was listed as a minor collapse and no mention was made of the unfortunate man who happened to be standing in the path of the stone and mortar. However, there was also mention of a monetary compensation to be paid by the college to an injured guest.

Uther had received what he considered the preliminary cheque and handed it to his accountant to be held in escrow as he was not willing on his son's behalf to settle for a paltry amount. He was a business man and understood the concept of a cashed cheque being considered acceptance of a proposed settlement. He would fight for his son and knew that until Arthur had been released and returned home and was living a normal life, he had no intention of dealing with either the university or their insurance company.

-0-0-

The day finally arrived when Arthur was transferred to the rehabilitation centre where Gaius worked and a strict testing regime was set up for him. The results proved that he had not sustained permanent damage and all the doctors felt that with time he would almost make a ninety percept recovery.

Gaius explained to Uther that there would always be loss of memory for the time immediately prior to and after the accident. Arthur knew what had happened to him but only what he had been told by others.

It became a game for Merlin to tell him all sorts or weird and wonderful things as to how he had come to have a scar on the side of his head. Arthur knew that it was from being hit by falling masonry but he happily played along when Merlin told him that they had been in Australia and Arthur had insisted upon flying a drone and it had acted like a boomerang and collided with his head or that they'd been stargazing and a meteorite had fallen to earth knocking him in the head and the most annoying thing was that Merlin had never been able to find it as he knew that it would have been worth a lot of money as it would have been a documented case of a human being knocked out by a gift from the heavens.

Uther really couldn't see the sense in such silliness but Gaius assured him that keeping Arthur entertained and involved in everyday things was part of the therapy.

Uther's one question was always the same, "…and Gaius, can you tell me an approximate time when my son will be able to return to his business responsibilities?"

Gaius explained that that depended entirely upon Arthur's progress and medical situation. He took the time and explained to this distant friend who was beginning to get under his skin, "To force your son to assume responsibilities which he is at the moment unable to carry out would be a counter productive. I am unwilling to even hazard a guess as to when Arthur will be ready to return to work."

"You do realise that my son is my heir and will be inheriting a multi-million pound business. I expect you and your staff to keep that in mind and to speed up whatever programmes he is attending."

Gaius at that point stood, "Thank you, Uther, for coming in to see me but I have other patients to attend to." So saying, he nodded pleasantly at the man and left his office. As Dr. Leon walked by Gaius said, "He's all yours. Best of luck and enjoy yourself!"

Leon smiled it was not the first time that he had met Arthur's father and he was not impressed with him and was sure by the time the meeting was over, he would not have changed his opinion of him.

Gaius had once chatted with Merlin about Arthur's family and he realised the stress that the young Arthur had been under for many years. Merlin had smiled saying, "Arthur knows what a tyrant his father is but blood is thicker than water and I came to realise that if I wanted Arthur to be in my life, I would also have to accept Uther lurking in the shadows. The worse thing would be for Arthur to be released with the proviso that he live with his father. He has his own home with staff who live in and I return to London four out of five days in the week. I promise we could manage with no trouble. He has a chauffeur whose wife is Arthur's cook. They are thoughtful and kind people and were devastated by Arthur's accident. Although you haven't met him, the man's name is Martin."

"Martin?" Gaius asked, "The man Arthur refers to as his manservant when he is in his medieval frame of mind."

"The same one!" Merlin said laughing as he lifted both arms and opening his palms saying, "Who knew!"

Gaius decided then and there that it was Merlin's sense of humour which had helped him stay focused during the difficult times.

-0-0-

University was over for the year and due to Arthur's condition, Merlin had not made himself available and was not scheduled to teach summer courses. As Arthur's accident had happened on campus the powers-that-be knew that Arthur was Merlin's partner so his request for the whole summer off was granted.

Merlin continued challenging Arthur and even Gaius was amused at some of the conversations he happened on when they were together.

Merlin sitting in the day room watching the rain pouring down, had turned to Arthur one day and said, "Did you know that for the majority of the older colleges in Oxford, the building material is Headington stone?"

"Really…?" Arthur said knowing well that there would be a story involved.

"Yes, quite appropriate really, considering your run in with it."

"Honestly, Merlin, when do you find time to come up with all these gems of knowledge?"

"I'm a natural, Arthur, surely you've realised that by now!"

Arthur grinned at him. "Oh, so that's what you're calling it now, are you?" Merlin grinned, he loved watching Arthur's reaction and, as he improved over the months listening to him make comebacks and become more and more involved.

Even during the worst of times, if Arthur was conscious he knew when Merlin was present. It was Merlin's name he first said as he came out of the coma. Merlin had been able to settle him when he became disoriented. He would lose focus on his tasks and Merlin would have to remind him to bring him back. He always took Merlin's prodding in good faith though he could be a bit sharp when therapists did the same thing. Being asked by Merlin to concentrate was not a negative thing, he immediately tried to correct the fault but with a stranger it rubbed him the wrong way and he withdrew into his safe place, where Martin had his bedchamber set up just the way he wanted and the hearth would be welcoming and he could stare for hours at the flames until Merlin came to entertain him.

He knew that he was really improving. His head caused him less problems and his migraines were getting less frequent. He remembered people and could read and remember passages of a story, he was feeling good in himself and he actually looked forward to tomorrow.

-0-0-

Merlin gently ran his hand over Arthur's skull, to begin with it had been shaved and was kept like that to facilitate procedures. He hated the scars but with Merlin's help, he was beginning to accept them as scars of honour.

It was an honour according to Merlin that he had had a fight with a Headington stone that was centuries old and he had survived. He smiled and fingered his scar. For the longest time Arthur was loathe to touch it but the day that Merlin insisted on kissing it better, had changed his mind.

He hated his life in the fish-bowl as he called it. The two of them had little privacy, Arthur often felt the need to be held and the idea of being able to cuddle up with Merlin on a nice sofa was at times all important to his well-being. He was worried that one day Merlin was going to explain that he intended to move on. At the thought of that, Arthur's stomach would clench.

Getting through this alone would be more difficult. Merlin was always upbeat, Arthur waited for him to visit each day. He knew the times of all the trains and which days Merlin had late lectures and would stay in Oxford.

Dr. Leon wanted to give Arthur weekend privileges. Gaius agreed as there was suitable accommodation and supervision. Arthur could stay in his own home in London and there would always be someone with him as the couple who worked for him according to Merlin lived in. He preferred that Merlin would also be present.

When the idea was run by Arthur he was pleased. He'd had worries that he might be expected to live with his father but the idea of returning to his own home was more to his liking.

Dr. Leon spoke to Merlin who agreed that he would be able to stay with Arthur. Gaius later smiled when Leon mentioned that he had Merlin's promise to stay with Arthur, as he knew that Arthur's home was Merlin's home and had been for a few years .

-0-0-

The Friday afternoon approached quickly. Arthur had packed a few things he wanted to take with him and was ready to leave after breakfast. His temporary release papers had to be signed and he waited impatiently until eleven o'clock. "Do you think he has changed his mind?" he asked Merlin who had returned from the Costa in the food court across the way with a coffee for him and a chai latte for himself.

"No, I think that he is just temporarily delayed possible with an emergency. He'll be here as soon as he can."

Dr. Leon arrived well before noon and handed the signed papers to Arthur. "Now we expect you back here by ten on Monday, you have…" he checked the sheet, "… a therapy session at half past the hour. Take it easy this weekend, it will be the first of many before you are finally discharged. You might feel a little fatigued so I expect you, Merlin, to see that he gets sufficient rest including an afternoon nap if necessary."

Merlin nodded trying to remain serious as out of the corner of his eye he could see Arthur winking and knowingly nodding his head. Then the doctor left and they were free to pick up their bits and pieces and meet Martin downstairs with the car.

As they were passing the nurses' station, Bill one of the nurses said to Arthur, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do…" and Merlin felt himself blushing.

Arthur quick as anything said, "Don't worry, I've got ten months of action to catch up on! See you on Monday, if I survive the weekend." He glanced at Merlin and winked at him, Merlin grinned, it would be wonderful to have Arthur to himself if only for the weekend.

As they reached the car, Martin happy to see his employer mentioned that his wife had lunch prepared for them when they felt hungry. "We are both very happy to have you back with us, Sir," he said.

-0-0-

Walking up the stairs to his own front door was for Arthur a special moment. He smiled as Merlin handed him the keys. Memories flooded back as he stepped into the hallway. On the table was an arrangement of flowers and he walked across and took the card, it read Uther. Arthur smiled as he realised the flowers might have been on his father's account but it was his secretary who had probably thought about flowers and ordered them. It was still a nice thought either way.

Merlin closed the door behind them and locked it. Arthur stopped and looked at him and Merlin said, "Welcome home, Love…!"

Arthur's eyes flooded with tears and he shook his head, "It's stupid as I'm getting all emotional but I have dreamt of this moment for the longest time." Merlin reached for his hand and he followed him into the sitting room noticing the new pillows on the couch and a leather recliner to the left of the fireplace.

Merlin walked over saying, "It's from your father. It's the latest model". He showed him all the neat positions of the chair, "He thought it would be good, as according to the doctors you are expected to not over-exert yourself as well as taking naps when you feel tired." Arthur wrinkled his nose. "What's wrong you don't like it?" Merlin asked.

"No, I like it just that it would have been better if it had been a two-seater!"

Merlin started to laugh, "Maybe they have a two-seater model and you could tell Uther that you'd like to exchange it."

"Look into it, Merlin, that gives you something to do next week."

They were interrupted as Merlin's phone buzzed and he said, "Why don't you sit here for a while and try it out? While I answer this…" He put the phone to his ear and Arthur heard him say, "Yes, Mam, we're home safely…I'll tell him…speak to you later."

"Your mother checking up on me?"

"Yes and more importantly she sends you her love!" His phone buzzed again and he glanced before answering it. "It's for you," he said handing it to Arthur.

Arthur took it and laughed, "No, Gawaine, I am not intending to paint-the-town tonight. We just got in and no we are not in bed…yet…Merlin is playing at being a telephone receptionist and I am ensconced in a new red leather recliner in the sitting room." He laughed again before adding, "Of course, it's Arsenal red, what did you think Liverpool?" He turned to Merlin and said, "Can Gawaine come for supper?" Merlin nodded so Arthur added, "See you around six," before handing the phone back to Merlin.

Merlin had a flashback of one of Gawaine's visits at the hospital when Arthur could remember little about football and the name of his favourite club meant nothing. He'd come a long way since then as he knew all the schedules and enjoyed watching the games on TV.

Arthur had stretched out and closed his eyes, soon his breathing tempo changed and Merlin knew that he was asleep.

The phone buzzed and Merlin reached for it, this time answering it quietly saying, "…we arrived home safely." He got up and walked into the hall, "Actually, Uther, he's having a snooze in his new recliner. Yes, he's very pleased with it and thinks that the colour was an excellent choice. If you wish to speak to him, I can waken him…no, very well, I'll tell him you phoned and he will get back to you later this afternoon."

He smiled, he was glad that Arthur had friends and was getting on well with his father but did no one think that maybe they would have liked to have had just a few hours to themselves.

Wishing that the recliner had been the size of their love seat, Merlin sat on the chair opposite Arthur. His presence made the house feel like a home again. At the beginning, there were many nights when he had not bothered going upstairs as he couldn't face the loneliness of the bedroom.

He smiled to himself as tonight would be different…


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12 : ****TO GRASP THE FUTURE**

Arthur only had a short nap before he woke up. Merlin had been downstairs to tell Sylvie that there would be three for supper as Gawaine was joining them. She'd laughed and said, "The more the merrier but remember that Arthur needs plenty of rest! Don't let Gawaine talk him into going out on the town."

Merlin laughed, "He's already told him that himself."

"What time do you want to eat?"

"How about 6:30 as that will give Gawaine time to get here after work?"

"Now, how about lunch? I made a selection of Arthur's favourite sandwiches and there is ice-cream. How's his appetite?"

"Not as good as it used to be but sandwiches sound great. I can take them upstairs now. Can you make some tea? If Arthur wants something else, I'll phone down." Merlin made his way upstairs to the main floor.

-0-0-

Arthur's house was a Georgian terrace house with a red door and a black and white mosaic entry. It faced the park and had an attached mews to the rear. The kitchen was in the basement as was a formal dining room leading out into the courtyard garden. The flat for the staff was in the original mews accessed from the courtyard or the street which ran behind the houses which surrounded the private park in the square.

His father had bought the house for him and had been most insistent that the mews still belonged to the house as he considered it an excellent future investment and ready made accommodation for any staff which Arthur might need in future. At that point, Arthur didn't care, as his priority was to have his own place but now he was pleased to own both properties freehold.

The main floor contained a lounge and the remainder of the space had been converted into open concept by the previous owner which had suited Arthur as it had a small kitchen area with all modern conveniences, including a bar, with a small dining table overlooking the courtyard. A cloakroom with a toilet and a storage cupboard completed the space.

The main stairs led to a floor with three ensuite bedrooms including the master which had an adjoining walk-in closet which had previously been a small bedroom. There were also three further rooms in the attic which had great views of the London skyline. Merlin and Arthur had one each as offices and the third referred to as the green room held a collection of furniture including a single bed.

Overall the property reflected on a smaller scale, Uther's London home where Arthur had been brought up.

Gawaine had at one point offered to rent the extra attic room as his pied-à-terre in town, trying to convince Arthur that it would be beneficial to him having such an interesting tenant living on the property. Arthur had assured him that after living twenty-three odd years in London with his father, he did not need someone sharing his space as he felt it would adversely affect his social life. Gawaine had obligingly said, "Point Taken! However should you ever change your mind, you have my number!"

"Don't hold your breath!" Arthur had said escorting him out of the room.

When he had invited Merlin to move in with him, Arthur had considered starting afresh with a new modern condo but Merlin liked the Georgian home, with its high ceilings and large windows and was happy to move there. He'd said, "Maybe one day in the future we could live in a modern box suspended in the sky but I prefer this house as it feels more like a real home as it has its own front steps, front and back doors and a private garden, albeit small but private nevertheless."

Arthur had laughed as he said, "…and you have need for a private garden?"

"I might have, you'll have to wait and see!"

Arthur was happy as he too loved his house but would have moved should Merlin have preferred something more modern. Either way, he had no intention of selling it as it would be ideal rental income.

-0-0-

Arthur smiled as Merlin walked over to place his hands on the arms of the recliner and leaned in for a kiss. "This is an official welcome home kiss, Arthur. It's good to have you back. The house was lonely without you and it now seems alive again with you here."

"Well, multiply whatever you are feeling by one hundred percent, as that explains how I feel. There were times when I had visions of never getting out of the clinic. We'll have to make the most of the weekend as sadly Monday morning will come all too soon."

"But I'm on holiday so I can still come with you to the clinic during the day and join you for lunch. I wonder how long it will be before Gaius allows you to be an out-patient. If you behave yourself as a weekly resident that might come quite soon." He gave Arthur one more kiss and said, "We'll have to make sure that you are there bright and early for your Monday schedule so the staff can see you are reliable even with weekend privileges."

Slipping his hands around Merlin's neck as he was still propped against his chair, Arthur said, "Talking about weekend privileges, we need to have a little chat to decide what exactly that encompasses."

"Good idea, it will give you something to do, draw up a rough list and we can then negotiate which ones will make the final cut, and here I thought that we would just accept the status quo…" Merlin said with a laugh.

"Not necessarily," Arthur said with a knowing look, "as I learned a few interesting things at the clinic in a pamphlet under the heading, 'What To Expect When You Return Home!' It mentioned suggestions that are guaranteed to spice up one's life."

"Since when has your sex life needed spicing up?"

"Not only about sex, Merlin! Some of it was general such as, to alternate which side of the stairs you climb and choosing the side of the bed that is easier to get into and out of, as well a few more interesting suggestions for the bedroom." Arthur paused before continuing, "Well, we could you know…give them a go…and then I could write up a review for Gaius."

Both of them laughed and Merlin turning to look at the counter in the kitchen and decided that lunch should come first said, "I just brought up, a selection of sandwiches Sylvie has made. Are you hungry?"

"Famished...in more ways than one!" Arthur said grinning.

Merlin just shook his head, "Something to eat first and then I'll take your further wishes under consideration."

"Yes, Professor! Whatever you say, Professor!"

Arthur was obviously hungry as he finished his lunch in no time. Martin came in with tea and a couple of beers. Arthur nodded his thanks and took a beer immediately. Pouring it carefully enjoying not only the aroma but the sound, he then sipped it slowly teasing his tastebuds, swallowed then said with a laugh, "That's more like it!"

Merlin cleared the table and left the dishes in the kitchen. He put the leftover sandwiches in the fridge. "You never know when you might be hungry and well-wrapped they'll last until tomorrow," he told Arthur who was by then hovering at his elbow and Merlin knew without being told that he was ready to wander upstairs, "Do you want the other beer?" Merlin said waving it in his direction.

"Not now, put it with the sandwiches and if I feel like it, I'll have it later."

"Unless Gawaine gets it first…" Merlin said smiling.

-0-0-

"I think I'd like to go upstairs. Any more surprises up there?" Arthur said nodding at the chair.

"Not of that caliber but there might be a few..."

Arthur laughed and Merlin walked upstairs carrying Arthur's bag. "What have you got in here? It weighs a ton."

"My laptop for one thing and a couple of books. I was worried that my stuff might go missing.

"Any PJ's?"

Arthur laughed, "What do you think?"

Merlin smiled, reached to open the bedroom door and said, "Welcome home, Love!"

Taking him in his arms, Arthur kissed him saying, "Let's hope that I remember how to make you happy!"

"No problem, practice makes perfect or as they say, if at first you don't succeed…" Merlin grinned, he'd waited a long time to have Arthur to himself.

There had been rough times. Arthur being frustrated and in a bad mood which had rubbed off on Merlin to the point of his not wanting to visit him as seeing him like that brought home the fact that it had been his idea that Arthur accompany him to Oxford in the first place. He had been responsible for Arthur's injuries and watching his suffering and wandering in a land of fantasy had been heartbreaking. However, at this moment the months of recriminations, worries and even doubts as to Arthur's ever regaining his faculties were in the past and standing against the door with Arthur against him, he knew there would be no problems.

Just having Arthur to himself with no nurses or clinic staff around was step number one and it was, Merlin had to confess, very satisfying.

Arthur moved away and said, "What time is supper?" Merlin told him. "Good," Arthur said, "I've got time for a shower, I really missed my own set up here."

Merlin busied himself with the soap and hair supplies, he'd got for Arthur's return. He put his hand on the towel rail to see that it was warm. He smiled, it was a lovely bathroom on par with many of the better hotels in London. Arthur had spared no money when he had had it renovated shortly after buying the house. In retrospect, Merlin felt that that was money well spent as a walk in shower was what Arthur now needed as his balance was sometimes not quite right as a result of the accident.

Merlin thought back to the first time he had seen the therapists trying to get Arthur to stand up in the treatment room. It had taken three people and he had had to learn again to communicate with his legs to enable himself to remain upright. Merlin had felt that his heart was being torn in two as he knew that he was responsible for Arthur's condition regardless of what he had been told by the therapist he himself had been seeing to stop blaming himself.

He smiled to himself as he knew that all the hard work done by Arthur had been a success and that he could walk unaided and knew enough to slow down and plan what he was going to do when he met a flight of stairs. Descending them was worse than climbing them as although he was sometimes wobbly going up, he could always use the bannister while going down and having to step out into space seemed more difficult.

Merlin realised that it was a long way to go before he could compete with the crowds who daily used the stairs and escalators in the Tubes. "That's why I have a chauffeur…" Arthur had confided in him when he had once mentioned underground stations and the like.

-0-0-

Merlin sat on the bed staring out the window, conscious of the shower in the background. The last seven odd months had been the most exhausting in his life. He had never felt so out of his depth. He had felt really alone for the first time in his life. He and Arthur had been so happy. They had met years ago at college and soon after they had become friends. Arthur studied business and Merlin English yet they had remained close.

Merlin let himself fall back on the bed, he was so tired. This was the first time in a long time that he felt relaxed in the bedroom. He put his arm over his eyes to black out the light and dozed off.

Arthur finished in the shower, did his hair and shaved. He was home and things were returning to normal. He was feeling well and Merlin was with him. He'd been through a time when he had decided that he had no reason to hang onto Merlin, he should let him go to live a normal life not one tied to someone who had problems distinguishing between reality and fantasy but things had improved as he was getting better and Merlin had absolutely refused to consider their breaking up.

Arthur walked across to the bed smiling; that Merlin was on the bed was at least positive but the fact that he was dead to the world was disappointing. He smiled down at him and his heart did a flip. He was so beautiful and Arthur knew that the man loved him alone. He took a blanket off a chair and draped it over him.

Feeling the blanket over him, Merlin cuddled into it and sighed. His mind was at ease, he knew that Arthur was home and safe...

Arthur slipped into bed, he moved as close as he could to Merlin without disturbing him. He ran his fingers across his head and smiled as Merlin moaned and moved his head as if to follow the hand.

"You know," Arthur said quietly, "if you hadn't been there for me to come back to, I think I would have let myself drift away. My mind was happy in the past but I couldn't stay there alone so I had to meet you in the present. It was so hard, Merlin, I loved my life in Camelot..." he paused before adding "but I needed you with me and I knew that was not to be…so I came back. Merlin, I love you and only you…and I will until the end of our lives. I will do everything to protect and support you in the future as you have me over the last few months." He closed his eyes and feeling safe and secure he allowed himself to drift off. He knew he'd only nap for a little while and hopefully when he woke up Merlin would have other ideas than just lying on the bed.

-0-0-

Arthur woke suddenly to his phone and Gawaine's voice saying, "It's gone six already and I'm on my way. Can I bring anything?"

"No, We're great here. Sylvie has everything under control. Just bring yourself."

"See you in fifteen!"

Arthur looked at Merlin who was yawning and blinking at him having been disturbed by the phone, "Gawaine? What time is it?"

"Gone six, I fell asleep as you did."

Merlin started to laugh, "I waited so long for you to come home and then I fell asleep. I think I woke once and knew you were there and slipped back asleep. Won't complain as I feel refreshed and ready to face Gawaine," he slipped his hand into Arthur's saying, "and we still have tonight ahead of us. I'm going to shower."

"Well, don't take too long as Gawaine knows all the shortcuts and will be banging the door down in fifteen minutes." He walked over to the dressing room to grab some clothes knowing that Merlin's eyes were on him. He grabbed some boxers and socks and grinning back at Merlin's whistle, disappearing into the room. In no time he was dressed in slacks and a sweater and checking his hair, walked into the hallway.

He smiled to himself and shook his head, 'The best laid plans of mice and men...!' Then he remembered laughing, 'There's always tonight.'

By the time Gawaine arrived, Arthur was ensconced in his new chair and Merlin and he had been watching the summary of the daily matches on TV.

Merlin got the door and Gawaine entered behind a large plant. "It's for Arthur from the guys. Supposedly, it will do well in the sunny corner of a courtyard." Merlin took it carefully and after showing it to Arthur put it to one side.

Arthur asked him to thank everyone saying, "Sylvie will be thrilled she loves plants and actually knows how to keep them alive."

Gawaine laughed and said that he had voted for a case of good whiskey but he was over-ridden as someone and he mouthed the name in question had felt that he and his frequent visits to Arthur's would result in much of the gift being imbibed by him not Arthur or even his guests. "I'm not that obvious, am I?" He asked.

"Yes!" Arthur and Merlin said simultaneously.

He then produced a bottle of single malt and gave it to Arthur saying, "Good to see you back where you belong! Thought that your supplies might be low." Arthur thanked him.

They made their way into the living room and Arthur told Gawaine to help himself to a drink. Arthur was in his element as the host, Merlin smiled as for the longest time Arthur had been on the receiving end of instructions and commands, tonight he had decided what they would eat and that they would eat upstairs at the little table in the window.

Merlin carried the dishes over to it and the other two joined him. It was like old times except that their group was smaller and Gawaine seemed to be watching how much he drank. He explained, "I have a date tomorrow with an attractive young lady and I want to be clear-headed as I promised her brother that I wouldn't embarrass either of us."

"It is someone we know?" Arthur wanted to know.

"No, not really.

"Well, aren't you going to tell us all about her?"

"Nothing to tell, met her at the hospital when I was visiting you and we've met up for coffee twice and tomorrow we are going out to dinner."

"You, sneaky old fox, all of this going on and you didn't tell us?"

"Well, for one I didn't want to be teased by the two of you or rather grilled would be a better word as I think I rather like her. Anyway, I want to take it easy and will only be introducing my friends to her slowly. Wouldn't want to scare her away! I promise you'll meet her soon."

"Bring her to supper one weekend and we can give her the once over and see if her intentions are above board." Melin turned to Arthur laughing," I will vouch that Arthur will be on his best behaviour. Won't you?"

"What's her name?" Arthur wanted to know.

"Justine but she is called Justy by her family. Actually, she is Dr. Justine Calder, an intern in paediatric trauma."

"Any relation to Dr. Leon?"

"Youngest sister…"

Arthur hooted, "You sly old dog, here I am recuperating and you are eyeing the doctors and nurses."

"Not really, I went to visit you and got lost and she found me and redirected me to your floor and we rode up in the lift and I guess I told her all about you and she knew that you were her brother's patient and brought me right to your door."

"Fortuitous!" Melin said laughing.

"Anyway, I don't mean to eat and run but I will need a good night's sleep and an alert mind as she is different than the usually girls I date."

"You mean that she can actually carry on a grammatically correct conversation and doesn't prop up a bar?"

"That hurts." Gawaine smiled and then said seriously, "They haven't been that bad have they?"

"Well, you did lower your standards for a few of them."

"Those days are past. I am a reformed character and will mention the two of you to her and see whether she would like to go out with you for drinks one evening"

Gawaine left and they were alone.

-0-0-

Later, sitting up in bed, Merlin said, "I wish Gawaine all the luck with his Justine. He's a good type and just needs someone to settle him down. Do you remember our first independent date without the others? I was so nervous; scared that if I blinked you would have disappeared. If you had said, 'Boo!' I would probably have ducked under the table or run out into the parking lot."

"But I didn't…"

"No, you were a real gentleman and I had a lovely time having you all to myself and when I said goodnight and closed my door. I was torn, as I wanted to run after you and bring you back into my room."

Arthur slid into bed beside him and said, "…and I would have gone willingly, probably bowling you over in the process. I knew after that evening that if you would have me, I would pass myself over to you, hook, line and sinker…"

"That's not very romantic, you don't even fish. How about mind, body and soul?"

"Merlin, you had my mind the minute I met you at Gawaine's, my soul within an hour and my body…"

"I believe that would be maybe five months after we met. I couldn't believe how lucky I was, that someone as handsome and as brilliant as you liked me enough to spend time with me. That weekend in Wales only reinforced that I had found my true love and better than everything else we were both of the same opinion."

"What…that you were my true love? I never thought that, I was just getting a little practice before I set my sights on Gawaine!" Arthur laughed and reached for him and silence reigned. "Do you remember how shy you were? I was sure that the first time you were going to get into bed in your hoodie and jeans."

"I was being modest," Merlin whispered with a smile. "Well, that was what I was aiming for…"

"Well, whatever it was it worked as that was one weekend which I will never forget. Do you remember?"

"Remember? I honestly thought that all my birthdays and Christmases had happened all at once. I also remember that you were a real gentleman and I felt safe with you and was wiling to trust you in anything you suggested."

"Except the midnight stroll on the beach."

"Arthur, it was high tide and the surf was pounding on the rocks and there were squalls and wind gusts of unimagined force. I didn't want my first sexual experience to be my last!"

Kissing him gently, Arthur said, "…and it wasn't, was it?"

Merlin looked at him saying, "No, it wasn't. I never realised that when I first saw you that you would be able to send me to the outer limits and be there holding me lovingly in your arms when I returned. I love you, Arthur Pendragon…"

"My life would have been very different without you." Arthur said with a smile, "I knew that I had someone whom I could trust and who honestly returned the love I shared with him."

"I think we might be considered a mutual admiration society…" Merlin said thoughtfully.

Arthur nodded and smiled, he didn't need words to show that that was what he also felt…actions always spoke louder…

**THE END**


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